See? Here I am again...


Work work work! I like to work. Renee and I switched places after everyone left so I closed the zooper and she closed the gift shop. I would have been a happy, cleanin' fool, but who should come in with a guitar and distract me? Ryan! Yeah, so he came and rocked out with his acoustic guitar while I should have been cleaning. He was there until we closed...and then some, so I definitely didn't get around to my top-to-bottom scrub down I had intended. He let me play some, so I "impressed" him with my guitar-playing talents (he wasn't really impressed, he just pretended to be to humor me...). Oh, but he did promise me that he would help me tune my guitar, and he taught me a couple new chords. So, all in all, not so bad. Then, he stayed and helped us with money, and then stayed some more to rummage through the lost and found. Silly boy. We didn't leave the zoo until 7:20.

Matthew closed that night as well. I guess we are getting back to "normal". Really, I think we both just ignored, as best we could, the fact that we hate each other. I got him to come to *Post Cram Jam* though, so that's good. Actually, mostly everyone is coming- or at least said they would. Woot! I have a week and a half to round up some more people. Come if you can! Friday, October 11th, 7pm, RCC parking lot "C". Bands: Slingshot 57, Encounter, and Wexter Snatch. $5 tix in advance (from me), $7 that night...

I'm done now. I think. Nothing happened today- well, except for the Ben thing... Bah! =) You stop thinking that! You stop thinking that right now!!!

So, you know when you haven't seen someone in forever, and when you do see them, you didn't realize how much you missed them?

Yeah- so I saw Ben today for the first time in over a month! I missed him, too. Ok! I said it! I missed Ben! Are you happy Melissa?! Blast you, Melissa Keathley...blast you to Guam!

Anyways- back to Ben (or Bezinizzle, as I like to call him). He came and chilled in the gift shop for about an hour, and I was content for the rest of the day. He makes me happy. I mean... gah! Ok, so I'm not saying that if Ben were to ask me out on say...a day when the wind was moving north by northwest and the sky was pink and the precipitation level was .001% and a monsoon was going through Turkey and he and I were both eating pork chops...that I would say yes, but I prolly would. Seeing how none of these things would occur at the same time on any given day, I'm in the clear- for now. Unless, of course, the Melissas work their evil magic. Which, I'm sure, they will. Good luck with that, kids.

More on my fun weekend in a little bit...

Movies on my list to buy:


The Outsiders, Virgin Suicides, James Dean, Princess Diaries, Carrie, Practical Magic, Ocean's Eleven, Detroit Rock City, Swingers, The Other Sister, Angel Eyes, Goonies, Seven, Ghost World, Dogma, Mermaids, The Ice Storm, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and Empire Records.


Movies on my list to see:


Pulp Fiction, Jonah (the Veggie Tales movie that's coming out October 4th!), Casablanca, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Josie and the Pussycats, The Big Lebowski, Breakfast at Tiffany's, and Risky Business.


CD's I want:

311, Saves the Day, Stone Temple Pilots, Bush, Green Day, The Get Up Kids (bah on losing it the first time!), Ozma, Tsunami Bomb, Rocket from the Crypt, The Kinks, Hot Rod Circuit, The New Amsterdams, Ani DiFranco, PJ Harvey, The White Stripes, Rage Against the Machine, Shakira (darn!), Nelly (double darn!), Morrissey, FIF, Soul Coughing, Steve Miller Band, and the RHV/Retro Morning split.


If you would like to buy me any of the said CD's or movies, or would like to take me to see/watch with me any of the said movies, I would not be opposed to such acts. Also, please find me a grammar coach to fix my obsurd attempts at being gramatically correct...

This entire conversation cracked me up...


ikilledacheetah (9:08:43 PM): are you and ben married yet?
SJGBluClu3 (9:09:00 PM): ummm
SJGBluClu3 (9:09:01 PM): no
SJGBluClu3 (9:09:03 PM): should we be?
ikilledacheetah (9:09:12 PM): um I do believe it is destined
SJGBluClu3 (9:09:20 PM): why do you say that?
ikilledacheetah (9:09:54 PM): I don't know..its just you two are obviously ment for each other..I mean the hair..you both work at the zoo..you are both on that same humor thing
SJGBluClu3 (9:10:17 PM): no, i think that makes us the same person
SJGBluClu3 (9:10:20 PM): which is creepy
SJGBluClu3 (9:10:39 PM): i don't wanna marry me
ikilledacheetah (9:10:43 PM): no..no cuz see your not the same person..your two people very much capable of making a 3rd
SJGBluClu3 (9:10:54 PM): ew!
ikilledacheetah (9:11:02 PM): lol!!
SJGBluClu3 (9:11:13 PM): no, ben is my homie
SJGBluClu3 (9:11:16 PM): nothing more, nothing less
ikilledacheetah (9:11:38 PM): yep yep...everyone says that at first
SJGBluClu3 (9:12:06 PM): has ben said, "I'm gonna marry, and father Sandra's children."?
ikilledacheetah (9:12:28 PM): nope..but me being the psychic I am...can clearly sense him thinking it
SJGBluClu3 (9:12:35 PM): lol
SJGBluClu3 (9:12:38 PM): great
ikilledacheetah (9:12:43 PM): lol
SJGBluClu3 (9:12:53 PM): so, psychic melissa, what else is in my future?
ikilledacheetah (9:13:36 PM): hmm
ikilledacheetah (9:13:56 PM): I see you climbing a ladder...wait..its the scovill zoo ladder of sucess and you've almost reached the top!
SJGBluClu3 (9:14:10 PM): woot!
ikilledacheetah (9:14:58 PM): wow and also sandra writing a new dictionary
SJGBluClu3 (9:15:11 PM): hey... i already am!
SJGBluClu3 (9:15:16 PM): i'm to the letter F
ikilledacheetah (9:15:22 PM): rock on
ikilledacheetah (9:15:43 PM): and on you and ben's farm...I see you guys breeding goats
SJGBluClu3 (9:16:56 PM): a) ben and i will not have anything together, and b) if we did, it would be a manatee rescue center where c) we would breed goats
SJGBluClu3 (9:17:22 PM): and d) ben would have a mullet
ikilledacheetah (9:17:24 PM): thats wierd
SJGBluClu3 (9:17:42 PM): yes it is, which is why it won't happen
ikilledacheetah (9:17:45 PM): you offspring will be born with mullets
SJGBluClu3 (9:17:52 PM): lol
ikilledacheetah (9:18:10 PM): and they will poop pellets...like GOATS!
SJGBluClu3 (9:18:10 PM): another reason why ben and i will never marry
SJGBluClu3 (9:18:19 PM): yup- there's another one
ikilledacheetah (9:18:40 PM): yep youll get married
SJGBluClu3 (9:19:59 PM): for the sake of the rest of the world, i think it's best that he and i don't
ikilledacheetah (9:20:13 PM): no .. for the sake of the world you must!
SJGBluClu3 (9:20:27 PM): to ensue hilarity?
ikilledacheetah (9:20:34 PM): yes!
ikilledacheetah (9:20:44 PM): I sense that sandra is indinial of her future!
SJGBluClu3 (9:21:09 PM): no, you see- i am destined to a life alone
SJGBluClu3 (9:21:11 PM): as a nun
SJGBluClu3 (9:21:15 PM): with lots of cats
ikilledacheetah (9:21:19 PM): no no!
SJGBluClu3 (9:21:28 PM): i plan on scaring the neighbor children with my dictionary
ikilledacheetah (9:22:01 PM): but you and ben will have enough children to populate a small country
SJGBluClu3 (9:22:05 PM): ew!
ikilledacheetah (9:22:15 PM): it is true..what I say is true
SJGBluClu3 (9:22:42 PM): i fear you are mistaken. my goal in life is to save the world and have a day named after me
SJGBluClu3 (9:22:50 PM): over-population of the world will not help that cause
ikilledacheetah (9:23:21 PM): yes yes it will see...there will be so many people that they will need more days..and you being the populator...will be the cause of it!
SJGBluClu3 (9:23:44 PM): oh melissa
ikilledacheetah (9:24:05 PM): you just need to change your perspective young sandra...
SJGBluClu3 (9:24:43 PM): maybe in like 50 years, when my perspective is forced to switch due to global warming
SJGBluClu3 (9:24:47 PM): but for now, not so much
ikilledacheetah (9:25:13 PM): nope in exactly 1 year 4 months and 24 days
SJGBluClu3 (9:25:35 PM): what day is that?
ikilledacheetah (9:25:43 PM): Im not sure
SJGBluClu3 (9:25:49 PM): well you should
SJGBluClu3 (9:25:54 PM): you are a psychic after all
ikilledacheetah (9:26:07 PM): no no psychic melissa is unsure of some things
ikilledacheetah (9:26:21 PM): but when it comes to ben and sandra...melissa knows!
SJGBluClu3 (9:26:50 PM): that's february 19th
SJGBluClu3 (9:26:55 PM): michael jordan's birthday
ikilledacheetah (9:27:01 PM): wow
SJGBluClu3 (9:27:02 PM): nope, can't happen on such a sacred holiday
ikilledacheetah (9:27:19 PM): youll see young sandra...youll see
SJGBluClu3 (9:27:46 PM): anyways- i haven't seen my dear friend ben for over a month
ikilledacheetah (9:28:05 PM): oh dear!
ikilledacheetah (9:28:10 PM): you must see him!
ikilledacheetah (9:28:30 PM): do ya miss him?
SJGBluClu3 (9:28:46 PM): i'm not that heartbroken about it. while i do need a good laugh, i find myself to be pretty freakin' hilarious
SJGBluClu3 (9:28:56 PM): so, i'm good to go
ikilledacheetah (9:29:35 PM): hmm ain't sayin if you dont see him soon your going to lose your mind...
SJGBluClu3 (9:29:47 PM): no. i think i'll be ok
ikilledacheetah (9:30:02 PM): you are indenial!
SJGBluClu3 (9:30:18 PM): fine, psychic melissa
ikilledacheetah (9:30:24 PM): ha!
SJGBluClu3 (9:30:26 PM): i need him, i want him... oh baby, oh baby
SJGBluClu3 (9:30:34 PM): [insert sarcasm here]
ikilledacheetah (9:30:47 PM): youre so wrapped up in layers that your afraid of your own feelings!
SJGBluClu3 (9:31:12 PM): haha! that sounds like a bad fortune cookie
ikilledacheetah (9:31:27 PM): (9:32:51 PM)Sandra's thoughts about ben: i need him, i want him... oh baby, oh baby
SJGBluClu3 (9:31:32 PM): lol
ikilledacheetah (9:31:35 PM): I knew it!
SJGBluClu3 (9:31:52 PM): you caught me. i want to have his babies.
ikilledacheetah (9:32:09 PM): yep ...alot of people say it!
SJGBluClu3 (9:32:22 PM): who are "alot of people"?
ikilledacheetah (9:33:07 PM): lets see...all the zoo people..shoot even that one bird carle..he says it...the janitor at my school...the cashier at the walmart...
SJGBluClu3 (9:33:34 PM): wait- the skinny red-head with the twitch?
SJGBluClu3 (9:33:41 PM): see, he's on drugs
SJGBluClu3 (9:33:44 PM): don't count him
ikilledacheetah (9:33:58 PM): he knows all..hes just faking
SJGBluClu3 (9:34:02 PM): oh i see
SJGBluClu3 (9:34:05 PM): anyone else?
ikilledacheetah (9:34:23 PM): that whole twitch thing..its only so people won't mess with him...oh yea I saw it written on a bathroom wall at hucks
SJGBluClu3 (9:34:37 PM): hey- ben wrote that
ikilledacheetah (9:34:52 PM): yep I bet he did...
SJGBluClu3 (9:35:14 PM): lies
SJGBluClu3 (9:35:16 PM): all lies
ikilledacheetah (9:35:28 PM): I do not lie
ikilledacheetah (9:35:33 PM): except when I'm sleeping
SJGBluClu3 (9:35:53 PM): no, what the "alot of people" are saying
ikilledacheetah (9:36:12 PM): oh nope...thats not lies
SJGBluClu3 (9:36:57 PM): of course not
ikilledacheetah (9:37:30 PM): denial- : a psychological defense mechanism in which confrontation with a personal problem or with reality is avoided by denying the existence of the problem or reality
SJGBluClu3 (9:38:09 PM): so what are you saying?
ikilledacheetah (9:38:28 PM): Im saying that you are denying the reality that is ben and sandra
SJGBluClu3 (9:38:56 PM): i don't know what you're talking about
SJGBluClu3 (9:39:04 PM): denial descmial
ikilledacheetah (9:39:20 PM): no
SJGBluClu3 (9:39:26 PM): i have nothing to deny because there is nothing
ikilledacheetah (9:39:47 PM): yep..ya see your denying
SJGBluClu3 (9:40:05 PM): ben is my friend. while i love him, i'm not IN love with hiim
SJGBluClu3 (9:40:07 PM): ya dig?
ikilledacheetah (9:40:18 PM): yep I dig
SJGBluClu3 (9:40:30 PM): so ya
SJGBluClu3 (9:40:34 PM): platonicness
ikilledacheetah (9:40:40 PM): the ben and sandra saga....when will they see the reality that is before them...the world will never know...
SJGBluClu3 (9:40:58 PM): that's right they'll never know
SJGBluClu3 (9:41:02 PM): cuz it ain't gonna happen
ikilledacheetah (9:41:19 PM): whatever you say young sandra
SJGBluClu3 (9:41:53 PM): silly girl
ikilledacheetah (9:42:01 PM): :-D
SJGBluClu3 (9:43:31 PM): also- i didn't buy him a b-day present
SJGBluClu3 (9:43:40 PM): i'm only inclined to buy those i love b-day presents
ikilledacheetah (9:43:43 PM): what! no hair dye?
SJGBluClu3 (9:43:51 PM): nope
ikilledacheetah (9:43:56 PM): :'( that is sad
ikilledacheetah (9:44:04 PM): but I guess you guys could always share
SJGBluClu3 (9:44:36 PM): so see, melissa keathley, you are not always correct
ikilledacheetah (9:44:47 PM): I believe I am
SJGBluClu3 (9:45:04 PM): different folks, different strokes
ikilledacheetah (9:45:44 PM): is life over yet? nope...so until the day it is over..and you still aren't married to ben...then you may tell me I am not correct..but until then...well just see what happens
SJGBluClu3 (9:46:02 PM): or until i join a convent
ikilledacheetah (9:46:11 PM): yes
SJGBluClu3 (9:46:42 PM): or marry a rock star. which i would like to do
ikilledacheetah (9:47:02 PM): marry ryan
SJGBluClu3 (9:47:22 PM): nah. thought about it, but no
ikilledacheetah (9:47:36 PM): plus he's not ben
SJGBluClu3 (9:47:41 PM): lol
SJGBluClu3 (9:47:47 PM): you're awfuly persistant
ikilledacheetah (9:47:52 PM): indeed

I'm going to talk about my band, Poser, right now...


Poser consists of three people. Myself on either drums or guitar, Renee (R-dawg, Renizzle) Speckman on guitar, and Chrissy Whitacre on bass. I will do vocals, but I cannot sing. That really doesn't matter these days anyways. Avril Lavigne? 'Nuff said.

Now, none of us know how to play the instruments we are currently assigned to, but we shall learn. I can play "Ode to Joy" (kinda) on my guitar right now, and can keep a beat on drums if necessary, but that's about it. As a last resort, we could always rock out to marching/pep band music. Me on clarinet, Chrissy on sax, and Renee on percussion with a specialty on triangle (she would like to be called "percussion girl" by the way...). "Centerfold", anyone? "Joy to the World" by 3-Dog Night? Oh! Oh! "Eye of the Tiger"! What now?!

No, but really. We shall be a sensation. Because the three of us want to be nuns (ok, not want, but are grudgingly looking in to), we shall rock out in convents. Normal bands play big arenas and whatnot, but not Poser! We tour convents, monasteries, bingo halls, and, for the right price, miniature golf courses (PUTT PUTT!). Back to the nun thing, Chrissy has volunteered to wear a habit. Well, just the veil thingy, but that's close enough. We might get letters otherwise.

Poser's first album will be called Like Squirrel and shall have a swooshie finger hollogram on the album cover. Don't ask.

Our motto is (what with us being 3 bitter virgins and all): Poser: spreadin' the love, not the vagina. This is also Vagina Day's motto, but since 2/3 of Poser founded the day, it can be the band's as well. Just the way it works out.

So, all in all, Poser will rock the world, one convent at a time. Woot! Bring on the male groupies!

I don't like boys anymore. I don't like girls either, though. I'm destined to a life alone, I think. Boo.


Anyways- I think I need a new hair-do. It's starting to resemble that of Jack White's from The White Stripes. Ok, not that bad, but it's definitely getting there. Maybe I'll chop it all off and color it "Hooker-Hair Red". I'm tempted, I really am. Actually, I would buy a bottle of dye if it were called "Hooker-Hair Red". I would buy "White-Trash Blonde" too. Oh- "Never-Gonna-Put-Out Brown", or how about "I'm-Goth-Really-I-Am Black". I think I have a combo of the latter two right now. So, see? I need a new lookie-look. If I don't get any suggestions, I'm going to the "Hooker-Hair Red"....

You think I'm kidding, don't you?

DO NOT TRY EXTREME CHEESE QUESIDILLAS!!!!


Yeah, they are so bad, they made me question my self-worth. They made Chrissy and me mean and spiteful people. It was bad, horrible, and quite disturbing. I'm still kinda bitter, so shut up, stupid! Why are you so dumb?? I hate you! I don't think I could hate anyone any more than I hate you, and if I did, I'd still hate you a little more. Oh- and while I was hating you, I'd spit in your pop and curse you with the giggles. I would definitely not do that to someone I merely hated. That, my friend, is how much I hate you.

Ok, I am sorry for being so mean to you. I do not hate you. In fact, I love you. You are hott. You're so hott, that you deserve another 't'. "Two 't's for that hottie," I tell passers by as I gawk in your direction. Woot!


Enough silliness. Back to business. From Hell is a good movie. It's so messed up- just the way I like 'em. My favorite line was, "You're gonna be that guy in the pub nobody wants to sit by because he always rants about 'the one that got away.'" I don't wanna be that pub person! I will, though. No one will want to sit next to me. Wait- no one wants to sit next to me now. I am a pub person!!!

Is it bad that I missed derivatives? I seriously am about to go do some math for fun. Wow, I'm a geek. I got all excited when we started doing the chain rule, and tomorrow we are solving things implicitely! Yay! Holy cow, I'm a loser...


How was my day, you ask? Well, I shall tell you... I am having fun at school, yes I am. History is freakin' hilarious these days, and math is a blast. I skipped chemistry today, but on my breaky break Chrissy and I went to the mall. Woot. I got two more CDs that I haven't listened to yet- Finch and a punk mix. Yay for more new music! I wanted to get Soul Coughing, but I didn't. I'll prolly go back soon and get it though.

I think I need another job. I love to work at the zoo, but I can only work there on the weekends, but then my mom needs me on the weekends too. In other words, I am poor. Prostitution is calling my name... Only not really, I have enough STD's thank you.

Oh yeah, I think I broke my CD burner, and I don't know how to fix it! I will cry if I can't figure it out. Sigh.

I just remembered another "up"-

I went to hermit in the library, and this guy comes up to me and says (all stuttering mind you), "Say- didn't I see you at the Red Hot Valentines show the other night?" It was so cute. However, not Mr. Moshgi-cute, so I didn't want to kiss him on the cheek. His name is Ray. That's all I know. Tee hee.

Oh wait, I remembered a "down" too-

I don't like girls. They are weird.

Speaking of fall...


My math professor came into class today all dressed up and this guy was like, "What's with the suit?" and Prof. Moshgi says with a delighted grin on his face, "First day of autum!" It was so cute. I wanted to kiss his cheek.

Anyways, today has been a supa dupa weird day. It's been all over the place good and bad-wise. Ups and downs of the day:


Up- one of the tests I thought I had bombed a few blogs back (Click Here), well I didn't. In fact, I got a B. I was all giddy the rest of class. Plus, my teacher was being funny and I got the giggles. I would never curse the giggles on anyone. Leprosy and syphilis- yes, giggles- no.

Down- I found out today that boys of all kinds are just as shallow and superficial as I had disillusioned them not to be. In a world full of excessively pretty people, I have no chance. I could sell myself out and get rid of the glasses, grow the hair out and straighten it, possibly loose about 20 pounds, wear some GAP clothes- no wait The Buckle- that *gasp* match, etc... etc... Yeah, I'm not gonna do that. That would not be me. I'm damned cute the way I am and if you don't like it, you can, um, do something obscene. Yeah ya can!

Up- I laughed alot today. Laughing is good.

Down- The first speech competition is comming up, and I really don't have anything ready. It's sort of stressful, but...

Up- I may have found something! I just don't know how long it is. It seems like it might be really long, but we shall see.

Down- September is almost freakin' over. Gah!

Up- I bought a new book- The Jungle by Upton Sinclaire, and a new CD- OKGo. I haven't gotten into the book yet, but I likey the CD. This band may be a new obsession of mine. Yay for new good music!

So, I'm going to end with an up, but I hope that the downs all even out and become ups as well. The night isn't over yet, but we shall see. Duh duh duuuuuuh.

Chapped lips and runny noses. Yes, friends, it's that time again...


Fall is here! Poop is all I have to say about that. Poop freakin' poop!

Nevermind, ix-nay on the oop-pays. I'm just in a crappy mood right now, and I don't know why. Well, I slightly do, but I don't know. POOP! I'm feelin' way mature right now, too by the way, in case you couldn't tell... Poopity poop poop mcpoop.



Dot com.

So, the alone thing was kinda scary. It wasn't bad when the people I knew were around me, but I guess I would rather have had someone to talk to the ENTIRE time because I'm an insecure dork like that. Yup.

The show on whole was fun. Trouble Hubble is freakin' great. I don't even remember any of their songs, but their stage show was way entertaining. I wouldn't want to do anything else but see them live. Listening to their CD would just be weird. Oh yeah, the band members are hott too, yes they are.

RHV was good too, but it was just weird to not rock out with my chicas. I wanted to jump around like an idiot like I usually do, but I contained myself. I sang along, but that's about it. =\

Aaaack! I'm going to do something I have never done before tonight. I'm going to go to a rock show...ALONE! Ok, so people I know will be there, but still. This is just insane. Seriously though, if it weren't RHV, I'd prolly stay home and nap or something. I was going crazy until I talked to my new pal Aaron online and begged for his friendship. He thinks I'm nuts, I'm sure, but hey- I'm going to see The Red Hot Valentines, baby! Woot!!!!

Oh yeah, I'm not giving up completely on boys, so don't think that. I know I'm being a "her" in the circle as well, but still. I guess it's also like the person being wanted is just a smidge above the wanter's "league", so it seems like they should totally be together, but it just won't happen. Love is a mean trick...or a battlefield if you are Pat Benetar. Woot.

"The fate of love is that it always seems too little or too much..."
~Amelia E. Barr~

Ok, so this whole "relationship", boy/girl crap is frustrating. No matter what, I'm always in a "he wants me, but i don't want him, however I do want that guy, but that guy wants her, but she doesn't want that guy" circle. Oh, remember random fact #1 about myself a few blogs back? Yeah- all about that one too. Ick. It's always the other girl that irks me too. I mean, why doesn't she want that boy? That boy is awesomely wonderful, but no- she wants nothing to do with him, so ergo, he foolishly gives up on girls completely. Dumb boys. Dumb girls. That's it! I'm becoming a nun! Woot.

I can totally relate...


Charlie Brown: I think lunchtime is about the worst time of day for me. Always having to sit here alone. Of course, sometimes, mornings aren't so pleasant either. Waking up and wondering if anyone would really miss me if I never got out of bed. Then there's the night, too. Lying there and thinking about all the stupid things I've done during the day. And all those hours in between when I do all those stupid things. Well, lunchtime is among the worst times of the day for me. Well, I guess I'd better see what I've got. Peanut butter. Some psychiatrists say that people who eat peanut butter sandwiches are lonely...I guess they're right. And when you're really lonely, the peanut butter sticks to the roof of your mouth. There's that cute little red-headed girl eating her lunch over there. I wonder what she would do if I went over and asked her if I could sit and have lunch with her?...She'd probably laugh right in my face...it's hard on a face when it gets laughed in. There's an empty place next to her on the bench. There's no reason why I couldn't just go over and sit there. I could do that right now. All I have to do is stand up...I'm standing up!...I'm sitting down. I'm a coward. I'm so much of a coward, she wouldn't even think of looking at me. She hardly ever does look at me. In fact, I can't remember her ever looking at me. Why shouldn't she look at me? Is there any reason in the world why she shouldn't look at me? Is she so great, and I'm so small, that she can't spare one little moment?...SHE'S LOOKING AT ME!! SHE'S LOOKING AT ME!! (he puts his lunchbag over his head.) ...Lunchtime is among the worst times of the day for me. If that little red-headed girl is looking at me with this stupid bag over my head she must think I'm the biggest fool alive. But, if she isn't looking at me, then maybe I could take it off quickly and she'd never notice it. On the other hand...I can't tell if she's looking, until I take it off! Then again, if I never take it off I'll never have to know if she was looking or not. On the other hand...it's very hard to breathe in here. (he removes his sack) Whew! She's not looking at me! I wonder why she never looks at me? Oh well, another lunch hour over with...only 2,863 to go.

Break time! I'm just through with hour one out of the three I have here between classes. Gotta love RCC library computers. I'm sitting next to the cute little blonde guy- Chrissy knows who I am talking about. He's a cutiepants.

Anyways- today must be cute boy day, or else I'm in a mood or something, because every boy looks freakin' hot today. One in particular did something different with his hair and, while he is always cute, I just want to jump him today. I won't though. I promise to restrain myself...

I'm bored! Why did I insist on joining the speech team? If I hadn't, I wouldn't have butt-long breaks. This is not right. I should have brought my book to read, but I was in a rush this morning and forgot it. Instead, I'm at the "slit-my-wrists" point of boredome. Aaah!

Ok, the cute boy on my right is gone, so I can write about him now. He was reading this as I was typing, nosy little bastard... His name is Mossah and he's from Egypt. He is also a cutiepants. He smells good too. I think it's the accent that does it for me. Silly boys from foreign countries. Why are they so cute? Hee hee.

I'm done now, but I'm still in a giddy/silly mood. Cute boys everywhere! This is crazy, yo.

I'm a lister, apparently, and now I feel the need to make another one. Here it goes:


~20 Reasons Why You Should Ask Me On A Date (and I don't mean you, Chrissy!)~


1- I'm a cheap date. For real, though.
2- I'm funny!
3- I'm cute.
4- If you were to "put a move on me", I would not impale you with a bony rib/elbow/hip/whatever.
5- I can get us free into the zoo!
6- On the right night, I can get us free into the movies!
7- I promise to not excessively use exclamation points anymore.
8- I like to watch movies I have not seen before (except this "pop star" gone "actress" crap... pick a career and stick with it!- ok so A Walk to Remember was not so bad. Gah.)
9- I enjoy rock shows.
10- Alot.
11- I'm fun.
12- I have a million funny stories to tell and will share only if they are relevant to the current topic of conversation.
13- Never a dull moment when you go out with me.
14- I am not one of "those" girls.
15- I have cool shoes.
16- I'm a wee bit on the crazy side when I warm up to ya.
17- I'm dark and mysterious.
18- You won't know unless you ask, right?
19- I will not hit on other boys.
20- I'm easy like Sunday morning.

That is all. Tee hee. If you don't believe any of this, ask my friends...

Let's just say that I didn't do so hot on my math test, but let's also just say that it was a whole 21 points more than my last one, so I'm happy which is weird. Hey- remember when I was smart?? [insert eye-roll here] What happened to those days? Oh well, I'm not gonna cry about it (hmmmmmmmmmm). I'll do better next time. Maybe this 20-point thing is a pattern. Next test will be freakin' awesome if that's the case. Woot! Dare to dream...

take the emo quiz.created by jessi


Gosh darn it! Another emo quiz that has proved yet again that I am. Only not. Ha!

I haven't blogged in awhile, so I'm going nutso! I saw Nathan Doty today!!!! I didn't know that I missed him until I saw him. I practically attacked the poor kid. He's awesome and should come back to visit more often. Maybe he should go with Jenny and me to visit Sarah sometime. I'm sure he visits her all the time, w/ them being might-as-well engaged and all, but still. It'll make the trip fun. He's going to a tech school in Missouri to be an electrical engineer. Go Nathan!

So, despite bombing a couple tests, today has been fun. I think I kinda missed the RCC boys because the C-dale boys (minus Cory, Turk, and Billadoo) are waaaay too pretty for me. I like my boys disheveled and cute, thanks. I got a full dose of them today, so it's all good in the neighborhood. Viva! I've really got to study for a Chem test so as to not bomb this one too, so I shall. I think I'll eat something first because my tummy just yelled at me. Poor thing.

So I had a rockin' weekend. Thank you to Renee, her friends, Jessica, Amber, and their friends. I have not had that much fun in quite awhile. Here's a little recap of the trippy trip to C-dale:


Friday: butt-long drive down to C-dale with Chrissy. We were belting out the Vagrant, PWT's, and Dashboard, yes we were. Southern Illinois is boring, so it was kind of a boring drive. The soothing sounds of our squawking, I mean singing, entertained us.
We get to Renee's apartment around 7ish. It's freakin' awesome. It has floors and everything. Impressive... We went across the street to her guy friends' apartment and chilled like villians for hours. Her friends are crazy and lots of fun. I met Dave, one of her friends that I talk to online from time to time. He's really nice. Around 11:30, we went to Carbo's to dance, but it sucked so we went next door to Pinch. It was better, but a REAAALLLY bad U2 cover band was playing. The lead-singer man seriously thought he was Bono. Hey- the only Bono is Bono. End of story. Luckily, no one thought they were The Edge. Goodness he is sexy. Mmmm.
Anyways- so we left Pinch and went to sleep. Yay for sleep!

Saturday: Woke up around 1 and listened to 2Ge+her with Renizzle and a not-excited Chrissy. Only R-dawg appreciates the 2Ge+her like I do! We showered and Renee had parent things to do (because it was her birthday and all), so Chrissy and I went to visit Jessica. We talked, chilled, and laughed with her and Amber for hours, then Jess had homework to do, so Chrissy and I headed back to Renee's. However, neither her nor her roomates were back yet. So, we sat out on her porch for about an hour. It was amusingly fun for whatever reason. Her across-the-street homies invited us inside, but we declined. It would have been weird. So, when she and her parents get back (they are freakin' cool, too by the way), we do some more chillaxin'. Renee and her friend Julie wanted to go to a movie, but Jessica wanted us to go to a party with her, so we did. It was not fun, so we went back to her dorm to hang out with her "friend" (hehe) Cory and his friends that had come to visit. They were not there, so we hung out with Amber and her visiting friend Catherine. It must have been visitor-weekend or something. Hmm.
So, Cory and company (Turk and Billadoo) come back and we spend the rest of the night with them laughing very very loudly. They were so funny. I learned a few dirty porno tricks, and they learned about Vagina Day. A fair exchange, I think. Amber's RA kicked us out at 5 in the am because we were being excessively loud. I hadn't laughed so hard in so long. It was great.
So, this leaves Chrissy and I roomless and needing to get back to Renee's. We strolled in at 5:15 am. Sorry Renee!!!! I felt so rude, because it is rude. I was having a fun time with cute boys, though, so yeah- bad friend.

Sunday: Wake up at 10:30 to leave. Renee had more parent stuff to do, so we apologized, hugged, and said our good-byes and went on our merry little way. I'm not gonna say that we took a little detour to Mt. Vernon and lost a good half-hour in time, but we did. Whoops.

All in all, it was a kick-ass weekend. Everyone there rocked my world. Woo hoo!!!

Happy Birthday, Dad. We miss you!

I've just read a couple of my last blogs, and I sound pretty "deep" and crap. Don't be fooled! I am nothing of the sort! It's just a façade. I'm actually so shallow that you don't even need water wings to chill in my metaphorical pool. While my mind does have it's wheel-turning moments, I'm not that deep. Things just bother me sometimes- that's what I get for wanting to save the world, but oh not without fame- a day WILL be named after me, so I'm not just doing it for the world, I'm doing it for my own selfish purposes. Yup. So, don't think I'm a good person or anything like that, because I'm not.

The end.

Sooo. I'm gonna talk about this September 11th business because I feel the need. Today I was interviewed (alongside low self-esteem girl...) for the RCC Communicator about where I was last year/thoughts/reactions/etc... when it all went down. I was listening to Ray Lytle (sp?)'s morning disaster on 92.7 and they were all talking and all of a sudden, the first plane hits. My first thought was, "what idiot would crash into a building? good lord..." then the second one hit while i was pulling into the parking lot of school. I guess everyone must have known then that it was serious business. What bugged me about stuff all day that day was that the media kept keeping us updated about where the president was. "President Bush is currently in Florida..." Yeah, because terrorists don't watch TV? Sometimes I think the press is just out to make a story, not thinking about stuff. So, anyways, the whole thing made me realize that my set of petty little problems at the time weren't so bad. I didn't hate anyone enought to attack their country. Another thing the event made me realize was how narrow-minded Americans can be. Middle-eastern families come to the zoo all the time, and one of my fellow employees sort of flipped out every time. My goodness! Not EVERY accented/darker-skinned person carries around biological weapons or whatever she was thinking. Also, I put a "made in Pakistan" sticker on my chest and various visitors commented throughout the day. "You don't look like you were made in Pakistan." "Why are you wearing that?" Stuff like that. I guess my point of it was to say, just because I look a certain way doesn't mean I am a certain way. Just because I "look" American doesn't mean I couldn't have been born in Pakistan, or just because people "look" Pakistani, doesn't mean they couldn't have been born in America. Yeah, done with that rant...


So, back to the "low self-esteem girl"- her reaction to 9/11: "Eh. Who cares? I wanna sleep." WOW is all I have to say about that.

Get your hand outta my cookie jar!


'nuff said. =)

Girls with low self-esteem make Chrissy and I look like heartless bitches. Advice to "those" girls:


SUCK IT UP, YA WUSSIE!!!! Children are starving all over the world; wars are going on; mothers/fathers/sisters/brothers/sons/daughters/etc... are dying unexpectedly every day; people are being murdered for their beliefs; injustice, racisim, poverty, [insert insanely long list of world issues here] is all going on. People have bigger problems than you. If you don't like yourself- change to better the situation. Sorry to belittle your problems, but my goodness. Your life could be much worse.

So, I'm all depressed and whatnot. I hate it, I really do. I'm usually happy-scampy Sandra, but today has just been blah. See, the ninth of every month pretty much sucks. Today my dad has been gone for five months. Time goes by so quickly. That, and his birthday is Thursday. I mean, this time last year my sister and I were still scrounging around for ideas about what to get him for his birthday! Funny how so much can change in a year. So, today my mind has been all over the place. I have a headache, blech. Too much thinking for me. Plus, Matt's just another crick in my neck that I do not need. Gah! People will be all thinking about September 11th, but my mind will be on the 12th. He would have been 59. Happy B-day, Daddio!

In more depressing news, my friend Sarah, who has been MIA for quite some time, called me out of the blue today. Well, not really out of the blue, but still. Anyways- her parents are going through a divorce, and we were both reminising about the days when we would roller-skate on my front porch, or steal eachother's Barbie clothes. Where did that time go?? I mean, our biggest concerns were fights with eachother over stupid things like crayons! We both miss those times and totally agree that growing up sucks.

No wait- life sucks. Too many complications in the world.

I guess this weekend is exactly what I need. I'm gonna go have some fun with some friends, and prolly end up doing alot of things I'll regret, but who freakin' cares. I'm going to make a conscience effort to keep this weekend clean, but i know it won't be. My girls will make it fun though and help me forget about my worries. Gotta love best friends! =)

I'm a Nelly-lover!!


Dangit.

Oh yeah, another reason I like Ryan's gf- her name is Mickey! It's not Kaylee or Bambi or some bimbo name (I'm gonna get letters, aren't I?). Oh, and she hates the color pink. My goodness, I think I'm gonna have to hang out with this girl. Oh, and he watches his mouth around her! How cute is that?


Moving on- no really...

West Nile Virus. It came, it saw, it conquered Scovill Zoo. I, because I haven't been there forever, was out of the loop and had no idea. The major news press people came and everything. People were all freakin' out all weekend, and I still had no idea. Sarah finally had to read the public service announcement to me before I caught on. Then, people were calling the zoo, telling me about the dead birds in their yard. Thank you? What am I supposed to do about it? Then there were the visitors that would yell at me like I'm supposed to have a little jar of "West Nile Virus Remedy Ointment" or something in the cabinets. Silly Decatur people...

Now, on to my decoupaging project. Whenever I get stressed out (thanks, Matt), I get creative. Ex: my backpack is the result of finals first semester. So, this time around, my table is the victim. The theme is "making out". I have cut out lips, lips, lips. The inspiration was this picture of a guy and girl making out and the caption said, "don't talk with your mouth full". So, I've found pics of kissing, etc... Also, random commentary and whatnot. I think it's darned cute. Yay!


...and I'm done!

Gah!!!! This weekend was so much fun until Matt freakin' ruined it for me. I'll get to that in a bit, but first I shall write about work...


I missed work! I hadn't been there in forever. I missed everyone! I'm gonna go on from person to person.

Sarah! Sarah and I crack each other up. Oh, good times. We get really bored on Sundays because no one comes until about 2, however we were pretty bling-blingin' money-wise today... Anyways, so Sundays are boring, so we play "Win, Lose, or Draw" on our dry-erase board. It's our own version of the game. Instead of telling our stories about what we did or whatever, we draw them out on the board. We are really bad at this game, which leads to great fun. Also, we play "Marker Bleed". I invented this game one day with Shannon May. Materials needed: two markers of different colors and a roll of paper towels. The markers "race" and the dot that lasts (or 'bleeds', if you will) the longest wins. Quick, easy, and fun! Kinda like me! =) Kidding...

Ok, so next we move to Ryan. His current girlfriend came in to visit him. I like her! I totally approve. He better keep a good hold on this one and not screw things up! She's all good and wholesome. A totally different thing for Ryan. This is why I like her: she's nice, she came to the zoo wearing clothes, she's funny, she's fun, she's cute, she's older than 15, she plays volleyball, she knew who Encounter was, and (this is my favorite) she's getting him to stop smoking! Yay! He really likes her too, because he let her come visit him at work and didn't shoo her away like the others. Sarah and I told him that we like her, and I think that made him happy. Oh, and his band might get signed and all that business! A man is comming to listen to them tonight, and then they might record a demo! Go Headhunters!! =)

Melissa: She listens to me vent about Matt. I make her laugh, which makes me laugh. She's a great girl. I'm really glad she lets me vent because otherwise, I'd be all crazy like a straw! She saw a "side of Sandra" she'd "never seen before- read about on the internet, but never seen..." That made me laugh. The side she saw was my rendition of "Baby Got Back". I'm rolling thinking about it.

Megan: I didn't see much of her this weekend. She gave me her Ian/Ian update, but that's about it. Hmm.

Ian: Ok, so I didn't see him much, but when I saw him he made me laugh. Silly boy. He took the rainbow sno-cone I made.

Now, Matt: Bah on you spreading your wisdom and gathering followers. Stop it! (ok, so after writing about all the other fun zoo people, I'm sort of over his blahness, only not, but I don't want to waste precious blog-space on him).

Ok, so this was long, and I'm gonna post another one for the rest of my weekend news! See you there!

I felt smart today! Yay. I kicked my history quiz's butt first, and then helped the smart girl in calculus today. She gets A's, and I do not. I think we were both surprised. So, I guess as my week is ending, it has gotten better.

~musical interlude~

It started out crappy, moved on to happy. I'm not quite emo, but you can call me sappy. Don't trip me up as I finish this rappy...
Wow- look at me bustin' out some white girl beats. I promise you that will NEVER happen again. =)


Anyways- my hair is no longer black and blonde. It's black, a couple shades of brown, and a bit of blondeish/redish (how that happened, I do not know) streaks. Yeah, I think it's confused, but it doesn't look bad! In fact, it's starting to grow on me. I was not meant to be a blonde at all. Just because I was born with blonde hair (it changed colors when I was 4), doesn't mean I should have been. It changed for a reason, yo. I think I've finally gotten that out of my system. No more blonde for Sandra!

I was hermiting in the library today, trying to work on some calculus because failing is bad, and I go sit back in the little study areas. I sit down in one and what do I see?? A sticker I had put there last semester! I got a whim last year to get index stickers and write random things on them. I stuck them everywere at school- the couches, people's cars, doors, bathroom stalls, water fountains... No one really noticed (except Renee- she saw the "Happy Vagina Day!" one...) because they are little and the cleaning lady probably took most of them off.

Anyways- when I sat down and saw the neon green sticker that says "Pervert.", it made my day.
Maybe I'll do that again. So, if you see neon circles here and there at RCC, it's all me baby!

Yes, I know how weird I am, but I'm cute so there! =)

This is why I am friends with Chrissy... She makes me laugh so hard that I cry and get a headache. Examples:


Chrissy: "That is a not attractive lady!"
Me: "That's Charlie's mom!!!"


"Wait? Jeff from P&G?" and when she says Jeff, she means Josh, and when she means P&G, she means G&S. I guess you had to be there...


"So, how's Jose the recovering crack-addict??" a) the guy she is referring to is Asian, b) his name is Ed, and c) recovering pot-head! "Pot-head Ed" as I like to call him.

Oh, Chrissy! You make me laugh!

RDAWG


I'm talking to Renizzle right now! Woo woo. I miss that girl. We had the best RCC couch times ever. Seeing Paco, Jigga Jeeze, and the rest of the gang w/out her just isn't the same! Chrissy just isn't as amused as my Renee was! I miss how we would be the only two people up there because one of us uncrossed our legs and the virgin smell crept out. I miss getting caught checking out boys with her. I miss the gawkin', stalkin', and ghetto-talkin'. Oh the memories!

I'm gonna go visit her next weekend because it's her birthday! Happy early 20th, R-dawg! It'll be mad crazy fun, yo. (uptown, baby, uptown). =)

So, I didn't have to do my speech today. I kinda wanted to so I could get it out of the way. I will have the thing so freakin' memorized that I will speak in only excerpts from it. I will suddenly bust out with it when I'm in public- at the mall for instance. I wanted to do it, but I didn't. Carrie was like, "anyone memorized?" and Aaron's head shot in my direction because he knew I was. I'm glad he didn't volunteer me. He probably didn't because I'm sure I had a look of horror on my face. I would have gone, but still. Phew!

So, anyways- my day has gotten better for various reasons. Yeah. I'm done now.

I'm back at good old RCC. This three hours between classes thing is really starting to get old...

Anyways- today has been a not good day so far. Mainly because I didn't do so swell on my math test. I mean, this just doesn't happen. I succeed!! I guess I need to get my act together or something. Bah. Then, I went to Kohl's to pay my bill and, because I was all depressed over the test, I shopped/charged some more. Doesn't that defeat the purpose?? What did I buy you ask? Two pairs of pants because I recently have a bad habit of ripping a hole in the butt of all my jeans. Guh! I'm wearing a holy pair right now that I patched up with some funky fabric I found in our basement. I'm gonna patch up another pair and write "Too Much Booty" on the patches. If I didn't like my butt so much, I'd say that I should try to get rid of some junk in the trunk. Eh- maybe later. I also bought an old lady sweater. Oh, how I love those things! They make me happy, yes they do. I'll be wearing my new sweater tomorrow, in case you want to know what it looks like. =)

Ok, so I guess I'm in a better mood. I still have an hour and 15 minutes to kill then it is off to do my speech. I'm kinda nervous because my monologue is, well, creepy and morbid. I am neither. Wait- I do have creepy tendancies, but I am definitely not morbid. It shouldn't be so bad, though. I've got to get over this blasted shy gig somehow! Wish me luck!

Yes, I am back. I'm still bored, so I have decided to make a list of guys that I think are hot, but will never have a chance with. If you don't know who they are, they are either real/not famous people or you are just not cool enought to know who they are. Most likely, you will make fun of me after reading this. Yes, you will.

In alphabetical order (because I am a nerd):

Noah Bastian, Jack Black, Bon Jovi, David Bowie, Brian from Roy G. Biv, John Cusack, Matt Damon, David from RW Seattle, Zack de la Rocha, Tom Dumont, Ethan Embry, Kyle Evans, Jimmy Fallon, Flea, Cameron Frye, Michael Goorjian, Seth Green, Adrian Grenier, Dave Grohl, Jake Gyllenhaal, Taylor Hawkins, Incubus (yes, the entire band), Josh from RR Latin America, Johnny Knocksville, Ashton Kutcher, Alan Lamb, Trent Lane, Jonny Lang, Jason Lee, Matthew Lillard, Malik from RW NYC, Chris Masterson, Danny Masterson, Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Conan O'Brien, Ty Pennington, the elder Pete from The Adventures of Pete and Pete, Brad Pitt, Joaquin Phoenix, Quduus, Gavin Rosdale, Adam Sandler, Tom Satterfield, Chad Smith, Snoop Dogg, Steven the Dell Computer Guy, Syrus from New Found Glory, Peter Tork in the 60's, Vince Vaughn, Luke Wilson, Owen Wilson, Wuv from P.O.D., Wilmer Valdarez, and Gideon Yago.

What can I say? I had alot of down time this weekend. The German commune of Amana Colonies, IA just didn't cut it for me. =)

Is it bad that I have gone back to previous blogs and corrected my spelling/grammar errors? I'm a freakin' weirdo!

I got to see my Chrissy today! It's getting quite disgusting, our friendship. I literally ran away from someone who was talking to me because I saw her. I hadn't seen her since Thursday and hadn't talked to her since Friday! Yay, we got our fixes and are all better now.

Nothing exciting happened today. I'm just writing this now to avoid homework and whatnot. I have my speech all memorized, but I guess I could refresh and review some. I'm bored!!!!

Actually, because I don't have all that much homework to do, I think I might start decoupaging my little table. I decoupage little boxes, folders, notebooks, etc... all the time, but Suzie has inspired me to do my table. Her cabinet looked cool, so I'm being a follower. I'm a sheep! Baaa!

Ok, peace- I'm out. Keep it flossin', yo.

Would you like to know how OCD I am??

Well, let me tell you. This is a little known dirty secret I have... I am an eyebrow freak. I pluck my eyebrows every night. You might think that I should not have any eyebrow hair whatsoever, but I pluck any and every hair that thinks it might come in and wreak havoc. Well, this weekend, I forgot the tweezers!!!! Three days of unruly eyebrow hair! Gah! I seriously could not focus. I could feel the blasted things coming in, and when I looked in the mirror, they were mocking me. They laughed at the horror on my face. The horror of lack of control! The random hairs were taking over! I almost whipped out the razor, but for fear of losing all possible eyebrows, I contained the urge and lived in helplessness for a little while longer. So, the first thing I did when I got home, I ran upstairs and plucked! Oh, the satisfaction of having even eyebrows...

I suppose you are gonna stare at my eyebrows from now on, aren't you? You're gonna notice a random hair that I missed and point it out just to see me squirm. Sick! All of you!

I'm gonna go look at my eyebrows in the mirror some more...