I got to see Heidi tonight!!!! It was short and sweet- just like her. Awww.

Heidi has not changed. I love that girl to death. She's like my little sister. We both have little clammy carnie hands, little feet, we're short, and we have something else in common- but I won't share... I love my Heidi! She needs to come back here more often. We're definitely making a road-trip to Indiana when she graduates. Woot!

I guess Thanksgiving weekend is old-friend reunion weekend or something. The one person I still need to see is Renizzle. I e-mailed her about the movie night at the Whit house tomorrow, so hopefully I'll get to see her then. Yay.

Speaking of...

Saturday, 5:30-whenever, Movie Night, Whit House

BE THERE!!!

Wha cha!

I think I'm gonna write an informative (or persuasive...?) speech on volunteering. I did one on it last semester, but I can't remember what for. I'm pretty sure I was persuading people to volunteer. Hmm.
Anyways- I know alot about this topic, so I think that's what I'll do.


Wow- now that we've got that established...

I was not in the mood for Thanksgiving this year. It's never been one of my favorite holidays, but this year just had no motivation behind it. It's the first one without Dad, so I wasn't expecting much holiday cheer. He always LOVED Thanksgiving and Christmas, and swept up the rest of us into loving them too. Today he would have been starting to get Christmas lights out, and start the decorating. The day after Thanksgiving was his day to do that. I'm kind of half-expecting to walk downstairs to see him asleep in the chair with a ton of lights surrounding him.
Christmas is gonna suck this year. None of us are going to decorate, and if we do- it'll be half-hearted. Tammy (my sister) has announced that she isn't celebrating Christmas this year. That's all well and good for her, but I'm still gonna get her presents whether she likes it or not. We'll cook alot of cookies and such, but nothing will be the same. I don't even think we're getting a real tree this year. I think we're putting up the fake one we got the year we went to California. Neato.


Ok- enough depressing talk. Let's get back to something else...

Do the RCC kids realize that next week is our last full week of school?? I don't know about the rest of you, but I've got some catching up to do. Something has malfunctioned in my brain because it's not as good as it used to be. Remember when I never had to study for tests? All I had to do was glance over the notes the class period before, and then walk in and get an A. Why can't I do that anymore??? Argh! After age 18, my brain has regressed. I'm gonna be 20 soon. I fear what'll happen to it when I leave my teens.
Good luck with that.

"One side works but the other one doesn't."

The little kid from the Triaminic (sp?) commercial and I are bonding. I feel his pain. I'm a mouth breather!!!! I loathe mouth breathers almost more than THOSE kind of girls. Blech. I dislike myself right now. When I try to breathe through my nose, I sound like an obscene phone call gone wrong.

I hate winter!!!

Oh yeah- I finished Choke today. It's another book by Chuck Palahniuk. This man is brilliant. Yup. However, this book was not as good as Invisible Monsters. It was lacking. It had a good theme and moral value behind all the twisted and sick things, but eh- could have been better. I don't necessarily recommend you even attempt to read it, but do read Invisible Monsters. Have I mentioned how good that book is?? Dang, it's fantastic. Viva!

Next book to read (or finish, rather)- Please Kill Me: An Uncensored Oral History of Punk.
I've been reading this book since July when I was making an attempt to write a paper for my summer music appreciation class.* It's actually very interesting, I just keep cheating on it with other books. Call me a novel whore, I know you want to...

Gosh, I'm a rambler today- tomorrow I'm going to attempt to make a pie. Wish me luck. I used to be quite the cook back in the day when I was a latch-key kid who's parents didn't come home from work until 6 or so, and I used to make dinner. Then my mom got her shirt gig and was home ALL THE FRIGGIN' TIME (I'm not bitter about that...no really). So, I didn't have to cook.
Back to the pie- the only desert I'm really good at making- or used to be good at making, are no-bake cookies. Unfortunately, every time I make them, they refuse to solidify. "Amoeba Cookies" I like to call them. They're darned tasty, but don't stay in one shape for long. I hope this pie does what it's supposed to. Yikes!


That is all. Boom shakalaka Boom!


*I dropped the class because I didn't really want to write the paper. How's THAT for motivation?? Booyah to the woot.

A sign up at the L&L Diner in Macon says... "Missing: Irish Wolfhound!" How does one lose an Irish Wolfhound?? They are the biggest dog ever. They make a Great Dane look like a Schnauzer. If it ran away or something, how does someone not notice a pony-sized dog trotting along side the road?? That's just craziness...

Speaking of dogs, I feel I should explain my pet situation because some questions came up today. I have alot. I have nine living at home and two "on the road" being shown. We breed dogs and almost always keep one from a litter. The two that are "on the road" have recently been championed, so they will be coming home soon. Ergo- we will have eleven dogs at home. When my sister comes home, we have twelve. On top of that, we have four cats. From time to time, we also have a turtle when my sister is away from her house for long periods of time. All but one of the dogs are cocker spaniels. The one is a German Shephard/Collie mix, but don't tell him that because he won't believe he's not a cocker. All of them live inside (except Bud- GS/C mix), and we all live together in a happy anarchaic house of fur, barks, and meows. It's an allergy-sufferer's nightmare, but I love it because I'm never bored. My dog Charlie and cat Precious are gonna live with me next year. CHRISSY WILL LOVE THEM!!! I mean- no, that's exactly what I meant. LOVE THEM!

Also- regarding the dog shows... These shows have vendors all over the place that sell leashes, dog shampoo, dog food, etc... My mom is a t-shirt/clothing (she does more than just t-shirts) vendor. Say someone wants a shirt with a border collie on it. We have patterns of all types of dogs (which is why I could prolly tell you what any kind of dog is) on it, and then we have shirts of all sizes. This person wants a large white t-shirt with a border collie on it. So, that's just what we do. We have a hot press/silk-screening machine so we can put the design on the shirt right on the spot. Easy as pie. I have pretty much grown up on dog shows because we have always shown our dogs, but Mom has only been doing the t-shirt thing for a couple years. She's branching out into cat shows, which I hate because cat show people are weird. They're all bug-eyed and grinning all the time. Freaks.

If you have any questions concerning dog shows and whatnot, just let me know because I will answer it.

PS. I want this kind of dog- it has dreds! The Komondor. Woot!

I need to do laundry.
I need to study.
I need to get a wee bit more motivated.
I need to relax.
I need to sleep more.
I need to make some ORGANIZED friends (hehe).
I need to not make my mother worry so much.
I need to stop being so creepy.
I need money.
I need another job.
I need to start looking towards my future.
I need to not procrastinate.
I need a checking account.
I need to stop spending so much money.
I need to ask questions.
I need to get my wisdom teeth pulled out (I'm cranky and teething!)
I need a boy who likes me and is not named Ben.
I need to do that thing I do.
I need to write a speech for next week.
I need to work on my table some more.
I need to not blog so much- LOSER!!! =)

I was feeling all deep and whatnot last night, but now I'm all giddy and weird. Would you like to know why???


JESSICA CRUMP IS HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Booyah, grandmother! That's right, kids. My little Jessica Ainsworth Crump is home for me to makeout ~dang it~ I mean, hangout with. Woot! Hawt luh vah! She makes me happy. She's my favoritest. She's friggin' quacktastic. QUACKTASTIC!!!

She came to visit Chrissy and me at RCC today. She got to meet our crazy friends. I love to have visitors at school. They make me happy. She got to meet Sam, and felt better because he was the one who called her and said, "Your initials are JC and that can stand for Juggling Crabs." She wasn't quite so frightened anymore. I heart my Jessica. She also met Aaron and Dan. I don't think she met Mike, but she was in his presence for the Potter bashing. Wha cha! I think she might come to visit again tomorrow... Did I hear someone say 'rusty fish hook'?? Nawww. Couldn't be!! I'll give you a ringy-dingy, Jessica darling. You know what to do. BaBAM!!!!

WOW. Somewhere, shomehow I swear a novel has been written about my life. Currently I'm in the chapter entitled- Age 19: The Year Sandra Started to Find Herself...

For the love, this has been a dramatic year. This weekend I went to a dog show with my mom for her shirts. We always have a lot of car time together which I hate because we ALWAYS talk about Dad- this happened, but I'll rant about that in another blog.

Anyways- we got to talking about other stuff. For those of you who don't know- I'm adopted. This wasn't a big secret or anything. I've known all my life, but I guess I just asumed things about the adoption process and whatnot. I never asked questions because I thought it might hurt my parents' feelings.

Well, we got to talking and this is what I found out:

~I was baby number three. My parents had been all ready to adopt a baby two times beforehand, but the mothers changed their minds right after they gave birth. What if one of them hadn't changed their minds? Where would I be? I guess I asumed that I was their one lucky shot even though I know they had tried for three years before I came along, but I though it was because they were on a waiting list or something. I guess that was pretty arrogant of me to think, but what do I know?

~For the first seven months of my life, I legally had no name. I was a friggin' number!! My parents called me Sandra, but in the courts- I was a number. I kinda want to find out what it was, just for grins.

~My parents almost had to give me up at six months. Why?!? My mother forgot to set up an appointment with the lawyer to finalize things! The courts thought something shady was going on- like I was going to be sold on the black market or something. Drama ensued, but within three weeks things were all cleared up.

~If my natural father had shown up at the final adoption hearing, my mom said that she would have left the country with me. Good thing he didn't, because I could be Canadian right about now...eh?

~About an hour after my natural mother gave birth to me- she left. When Mom told me this, an odd feeling came over me, and I almost cried. I think it was a feeling of abandoment, and I also felt slightly unloved (I know- shut up, Sandra. Everyone loves you). But, for three days- I was an annonymous baby chillin' at the hospital. I didn't have any relatives oohing and aahing over me. A nurse probably had to pencil me in to feed me. It just hurt me a little because I thought that I had a mom for three days to at least make sure I was ok, but I didn't. There are three days of my life that no one knows about. I know I'm making a big deal about this, but in "normal" situations, I can guarantee that moms could tell you everything about the first three days of their child's life. They could tell you a story about how your dad passed out, or "it took me 13 hours to get you out...", what the weather was like, or other fun stories. My mom has those stories with my sister (who is not adopted) and she still tells them 29 years later. What she has for me- "when the secretary brought you into the lawyer's office..." Cute.

This is going to sound annoying, but I have never felt like I belong in the family. I have a lot of stories of me "running away". One even goes back to when I was a few monts old. I guess I'm sort of jealous of those who have that natural family feeling. These days I look at my sister and see that she is EXACTLY like my parents. I know I have a lot of similarities to my parents, but really when you spend your whole life with someone...it happens.

Now don't get me wrong. Even though my mom and I do not get along, I still love her and am thankful I ended up with the family I did. It's quite a crazy and nonconventional one, but that's why I like it. Never a dull moment around the Goaley house, that's for sure. I am not resentful for anything, but my feelings have always been hard to describe. Dang me for being complicated!!


Well, that was long and deep. If you've made it to the end, woot for you. =)

What's YOUR Writing Style?
brought to you by Quizilla

"You are a descriptive writer. An avid reader of Robert Frost, perhaps, you LOVE to use flowery words and use the paper and pen as your canvas and paintbrush. You prefer to paint a mental image rather than simply toy around with people's minds. A very inspired person, you love to be in nature and usually are a very outdoorsy type of person. A writer with a natural green thumb, perhaps?"



Hmm- would you agree with this? I would have to say that I do.

I need a job. Working at the zoo gave me something to blog about. Now all you get to hear is me rambling on and on about boys. I apologize. I'm done, because I quit boys. I'm quitting cold turkey. No boys for me, yup.


There I go again talking about them. Crazy kids.



Are you 'bout it, 'bout it?? I doubt it, doubt it! Sorry- I felt ghetto. Sam told me I was yesterday, and I felt the need to elaborate...

woot

Bah. Boys are so complicated. Just when I think things are all hunky-dory, I get thrown with this in my face...

iKiLLeDaChEeTaH: ben hearts you
SJGBluClu3: are you sure?
iKiLLeDaChEeTaH: I am very sure
SJGBluClu3: why do you say that?
iKiLLeDaChEeTaH: he told me so
SJGBluClu3: when?
iKiLLeDaChEeTaH: today
iKiLLeDaChEeTaH: and on days he gets to see you he says " I get to see sandra today..woot"


Ok, so we've been through this before. I love Ben, but I'm not in love with him. I hate to be such a cold-hearted bitch, but that's just the way it is. I feel so bad because I enjoy Ben to no end, but so much has happened lately in the boy department. I quit. If you are a boy, and like me "like that", just friggin' ask me out already. Chances are, I will say yes. Easy like Sunday morning.

"I think I grew a grey watching you procrastinate. What are you waiting for- a certain shade of green?"

~Incubus, baby. Woot.

Today was such a fun day. It's so bad that even though I have worked at the zoo forever, I still like to go there.


Mike, Sam, and I had a zoo key field trip. Some of them were lame, but others were great. The wolf rap and the "jamaican" spider monkey one were my favorites.

Highlight of the day...

Sam (in all seriousness, talking about Bonzo the spider monkey's weiner): "What is that??"
Me: "That thing that's hanging down?"
Sam: "Yeah- what is it?"
Me: "Why that's a penis, Sam."
Mike: [rolling in laughter]

Gosh, that was so funny.

Nothing much else is new, except that Jackass is sooo funny. I was annoyed with myself for liking it. That's the movie we all went to see last night. I laughed alot. I've been laughing a whole bunch lately. I laugh all the time, but lately it has been excessive. I think it's all the crazy people I've been hanging around lately *cough*mikehagan*cough*... Not that that's a bad thing. I could be shooting up with my other crowd...

...I didn't say that.

I'm in such a good mood. I laughed alot today. Laughing is good. Tonight is gonna be fun. I'm not quite sure what's going on because Mike Hagan plans about as well as I do- which is not at all. Chrissy says, "You whim and then stand me up 10 MINUTES BEFOREHAND!" This is so true. I'm a horrible friend. Oh well, he's gonna call me and give me the dilly and then it's off to bucket night at the movies! Woot.


More with Mike... tomorrow he, Sam Davis, and myself are taking a field trip to the zoo. It's gonna be great fun. We're gonna play with zoo keys!

--
Wait- this just in...

SoliFideGloria: Okay, we're all meeting at 8:30 (actually 9, but Chrissy said to tell you 8:30 so you'd be on time) at the Strand.


Guess that answer's my questions about tonight.
--

Back to the zoo keys- I got Mike one last week... Wow, I promise that was gonna be a great story, but I lost my train of thought. Bah!

P.S. DICK NIXON, WHO ARE YOU????

Dear Stalker (DICK NIXON),


Are you Martin Van Buren? Was that a hint, or just a pop quiz? I want to know who you are! If you tell me, I will give you a cookie...
But no zoo key- I only give those to the coolest of people. =)


Love,

Sandra

Where are my comments??

I'm supposed to have my mom out of the house by 11.




...it's 10:30, and I'm barely coherent.


Whoops.

Hmmmmmmm.


What to do? This is what I think, because I'm perceptive like that...


The boy I like, likes my friend, and his friend may possibly like me, but my friend is that oblivious girl that every boy falls for, so she ignores him, he lusts for her, I cry in a dark corner listening to Dashboard, and the other guy is confused as hell. It's just a vicious circle.

Ooooor, they both like my friend, and nobody likes me (even Ben, he's soo moved on), but she's still the oblivious girl that every boy falls for, so they'll both be my friend to get to my friend and lust for her while she ignores them both. Meanwhile- I'm crying in a dark corner, listening to Dashboard.

Whatever, yo. I'm slightly over the boy I've been obsessed with for the past month or so. It's so the whole virgin smell/funny girl thing, too. Boys, boys, boys. When will they learn that the girls that WON'T break your heart, are the ones that are the quirky little weird girls...

Don't get me wrong, I still like the guy, but it's in much more of a platonic way that fluxuates from hour to hour. Dang, I'm complicated. It's just, I'm suspecting something. A premonition? I'm supernatural and omnipotent. I just share my knowledge when I feel it is appropriate. Yup.

Who's the queen of run-on sentences this week? Yeah, that'd be me...


Wow, I need to go out on a date...

...with a boy

...bah.

My hair is red . . . and the black is still friggin' there! Guh! Well, I don't know about you all, but I think I'm pretty hot as a redhead. Tee hee!


Let me give you my weekend predictions...


Friday night options:

a. going to see a movie w/ Chrissy (a hypothetical date, if you will),
b. pining away for the boy, possibly in a dark corner, definitely listening to Dashboard, or
c. mother-daughter time with my, um, mother... (blech)


Saturday's plans:

1- creating a distraction to divert my mother's attention from the house
2- getting her to her surprise b-day party at 1 (it's at the Elwin town hall- come if you'd like!! I don't care if you don't know her- you're gonna get free food, yo)
3- prying myself away to go see Stereotype in Pana with Chrissy, Matt, and possibly Ryan and company


Sunday's plans:

1- finishing up the yardwork with ma and sis
2- going over to Sue's at noon to make cookie jar things
3- leaving at 2 to go to a "So, you're dad died unexpectedly 7 months ago, and you started to go 'crazy' by dying your hair alot, dropping unbelievably hard math classes, spending time away from ma and sis, and wreaking havoc in general- oh wait, you did that before he died, but ma and sis remember nothing of your behavior pre-death of father and we're gonna discuss this as a group with strangers while your mother and sister cry alot because they can't accept that you've accepted his death and still really miss him and think it's unfair he's gone, but just don't want to talk about it because that's the kind of person you are, so you're gonna have to uncomfortably sit in a circle and 'listen' to others..." family grief-counseling type thing
4- pry myself away to go to Champaign with a posse to see PLAIN WHITE T'S, baby. Ow ow!! Suzie's gonna be there. I miss her!!!


Wow, this is a long blog--

So, I was thinking, ladies. When everyone is home for Christmas break, we all need to get together and have a girly night. Remember when Matt broke my heart and we ate cookies/brownies/ice cream, and took all those teeny-bopper quizzes ("Who's your Dawson's Creek soulmate??")?? Yeah, that was alot of fun, and we should do it again. We don't need a boy as a reason this time, we should just do it.

Yay- I'm excited now. Let's decoupage something too! Woot. =)

Here I am at RCC. Go Knights!

I can't believe I just said that. I apologize. I'm feeling friendless, and maybe a little smelly right now. No one is sitting on either side of me. Actually, I even sat down between two people, and they both got up and left at the same time. I really wish someone would tell me if I stank. It's only kind to do so...

Yay! Someone just sat down next to me. Woot. I'm not so lonely anymore. I don't know this person, but at least I don't look like I smell. Yes, I'm a weirdo, thanks for asking.

So, I'm gonna color my hair tonight. I want to dye it all black, because I'm kinda over the two-tone thing. It's been two colors since June. I would go all another color, but I've tried that and the black still remains. However, everyone around this place seems to be going all black. I'll be following the crowd, and that's practically against my way of life. I don't go out of my way to not follow the crowd, but I hate being like everyone else. Hmmm. Maybe I'll go tri-toned. I'll dye the underside red or something? Wait, isn't that what Ozzy Osbourne has?? We'll see... I just know that I am NOT doing the blonde thing again. I was seriously in another state of mind or something.

Whateva- give me some suggestions, yo.

I'm done pining. Yup. Just like that, I'm done. I still like the boy, and still think he's amazingly fantastic, but I'm not gonna pine for him like a fool. I always always do that. I just don't know what to think. Boys think that girls are complicated?? Well, they are, but if they fell for the boy I fell for, they would understand that they are just as complicated.
...and they would possibly be homosexual.

Er, um, yeah. So MY only deal is that he either knows and is ignoring the fact, or he is oblivious and being weird for his own reasons. Who knows. Boys are weird.

Not only that, he's just like every other boy in the world. Even the nice ones have jerkface tendancies, they just know how to cover it up better. At least the blatant jerks are honest...

Hi, I'm the Queen of Unrequited Love. Bow before me, beyotch. =)

Oh by the way (Suzie), you are supposed to click on "Maybe my friends and I shouldn't talk sometimes...". You sillies.





Anyways- let me tell you my mattress story. It cracked Chrissy up, but it prolly won't be as good the second time around.

So, my mom got a new mattress and box springs from some place in Champaign. They get the box springs in the van ok, and tied the mattress to the roof. "It's secure and won't fly off," they say...

It wasn't secure, and it most definitely flew off into a ditch on the interstate. My poor mother was all alone...no other cars around...trying to get this huge mattress out of the ditch and into her van. She manages and drives her merry way home.

However, the mattress has a scuff on the corner from its tumble. A scuff that would be hidden by a sheet! My mother (who's logic makes no sense, mind you) is appalled by the scuff and wants to replace the mattress. The mattress store (???) apologized for the mishap and agreed to replace it.

Soooo- at 8:00 this morning my mom wakes me up and says, "help me get the mattress into the van". I am all groggy, sniffly, stuffy, sick, etc... I manage to roll out of bed, and attempt to help her with the mattress. Keep in mind here that this mattress is monstrous and has no handles on the side to help us out whatsoever. Also keep in mind that my mother is about 5'6", I'm about 5'3", and both of us are about as coordinated as baby deer. Also, we are as coordinated as baby deer at 8 o'clock in the morning.

Anyways- mom is like, "keep the sheets on it. it'll keep it clean". me: "mom, you make no sense". We manage to shove the stupid thing through the hallway, through the kitchen, and get stuck in the door. It's all bending and being obnoxious, quite possibly mocking us for our half-effort. Well, my half-effort anyways. So, with one gigantic push, the mattress goes through the door and off comes the sheet. Along with that, we both lose our grip and it goes flying into a pile of leaves. Under the leaves is a puddle of mud. me: "What was that about keeping it clean?" mom: {dirty glare}.

After pulling it out of the mud, we try to shove it into the van. My brilliant mother leaves her t-shirt racks on the floor. We are both frustrated with the stupid mattress at this point, so we just shove it in. It gets caught on one of the racks and rips. This mattress that could have stayed on her bed with a minute little scratch is now a shredded and dirty piece of furniture. I told her to lie to the mattress store and tell her that's how it looked after it flew off the van.


Moral of the story, kids: Avoid my mother and her wacked-out logic at all costs. She's quite a pill, that's for sure.



PS. My birthday is 5 months from today... You just remember that!

I was reminded of this when I was talking to one of my friends. We also have a quote book of all the stupid things we say at the zoo. Let's just say that my name is in it about 10 times more than everyone else. In otherwords...


Maybe my friends and I shouldn't talk sometimes...


Yup.

Oh, and for those of you who talk to me on AIM, which buddy icon do you like better?? There's gonna be a mini-riot, but I need a general consensus...

Fozzy?



or New Glasses?



Shout at me, yo.

I fear my little "thang" I have for the boy I've been blogging on and on about forever, is starting to fade away. Why?? Well, he never talks to me anymore. It's like we had a really good couple of weeks, and he played the friend card quite well one night, but now it's silence. I don't know. Whatever happens, happens. You all know that I'll see him tomorrow, and it'll all come back. Stupid boys and the effects they have on me.


Anyways- I am sick. I'm all coughy, sneezy, sniffly, etc, etc... gross in general. That, and I really want to rip my uterus out and stuff it down a guy's throat. Not any particular guy, just a guy. That would make me feel better...

Dang it! Mike Hagan is right! I am violent!

Dear Darla,


I hate your stinkin' guts.
You make me vomit.
You are the scuuuuuum between my toes.


Love,

Al (hicup) falfa

Yeah, the blogging like no one reads it thing isn't gonna work. Anyways- I'm feeling mushy. Beware!


I really like the people I spend time with. I mean, I don't know how other people do it. I'm really glad I have almost always enjoyed my friends. Some people don't know what it's like to be best friends with the same people for, holy cow, almost 15 years. We've been through alot, Chrissy, Suzie, and I, and last year we were separated for the first time ever. We survived too. I know alot of people that didn't manage to stay friends after college began, and that's kind of sad.

The three of us changed, though, too. I know we didn't realize we were changing at the time, but when we came back to visit with one another, I'm pretty sure we all noticed the changes in the others. I know I did anyways. While we might not agree with how any of us had changed, the beauty of our friendship is, we adjusted to the changes and still remained to be best friends.

I hope, as we get older and make our own decisions, we still continue to do this. New friends, poor choices, conflicting schedules, different lifestyles, changed ideas/views, boys, and everything else that can ruin friendships will not tear us apart. I love these girls with all my heart, and I hope they feel the same way.


As for the new friends I have made along the way...
Several have come and gone, but the ones that are still around, and coming around, rock my socks just as hard. I hope to remain friends with these people as well, because each one is there for me in their own little way. That's so corny, but it's true. Thank you for being my friends. Who knows where I'd be if I didn't have you.

Happy Vagina Day!



~Spread the love, not the vagina~

I've decided to start blogging like no one but me reads it. Even though I have a comments thingy, and I know that quite a few people read this bad boy religiously, but still. Speaking of- Melissa Ryan, where are you at??


Anyways- Ick. Boys are dumb. I have no reasoning to back this up at the moment, but they are. They are too complicated for their own good. Actually, I'm just making them complicated. They (and I really mean to say he...) are just oblivious and really have no idea what they can do to a girl. I mean, how does he like me? He obviously doesn't dislike me because we've been oh so chatty in the past. However, while in-person situations aren't horribly awkward, they aren't in large numbers. It's just, when no talking occurs whatsoever for a day or so, even if we see each other, I start to think and dwell.


Bah. Boys are so the reason why girls become lesbians.

So, I finished reading Invisible Monsters, finally. WOW, this is a good book. It's so twisted and messed up... I love it! It's from the same guy who wrote Fight Club, so you can only imagine the twists and turns. It's so wickedly funny, too. I think you might have to be one of THOSE people to enjoy it, and by THOSE people I mean weirdoes and freaks in general. Yeah, that'd be me... =)

Anyways- there's this part where some of the characters are writing out "messages to the future" on post cards, and sending them off the Space Needle. I liked some of them, so I will share:


~The one you love, and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person.

~Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I've ever known.

~When we don't know who to hate, we hate ourselves.

~We'll be remembered more for what we destroy than what we create.

~Game shows are designed to make us feel better about the random, useless facts that are all we have left of our education.

~When did the future switch from being a promise to being a threat?

~Your birth is a mistake you'll spend your whole life trying to correct.

~When you don't share your problems, you resent hearing the problems of other people.


The theme of this book- Nothing, on the surface, is ever what it seems. So true, so true.

As for the boy... I did manage to tell him he was awesome, last night. [insert "awwww" here] We're movin' on up, kids! (to the east side. to a deluxe apartment, in the sky-eye-eye...) I guess I'm in another mood. Forgive me.


I got a couple "you look cute today"s, and a few "you're creepy"s as well. So, what am I?? I think I'm so creepy it's cute. That's definitely it. Yup.

I've somewhat changed my mind about the asking out. I'm not gonna propose or anything, but perhaps I'll ask him to come to a rock show with me. I was all gung-ho about just going for it, but I got alot of NEWS tonight, and am not in a macking mood at all.

We shall see, kids, we shall see. Shout at me!

Ok, so I've got the "Shout Out" (comments) going on. I tried to change that to something not as lame, but it wouldn't let me. I guess I'm stuck with the shout outs. I feel like I'm on TRL. Where's Carson at??


Anyways- you're supposed to comment on a particular blog, or whathaveyou (is that one word?), so comment frequently, because I'm a bloggin' fool. We'll have conversations or something... Tell me how retarded my blogs are, because we all know they are.

Oh, hush! You know they make you laugh!! =)

I reeaaaallly want to ask out this boy I've been "heart"ing, but I feel as though I have missed my opportunity. Why? I'm not quite sure. I mean, I haven't known him long, but I know alot about him. I know I should just go for it, but I really like him in a lot of ways. He's good at being a friend, and I don't want to screw anything up. I'm afraid that he will be like the others. Granted, there have only been two boys I have ever asked out, but they were weird for awhile. Actually, one has gotten waaay over it and we are pals, and the other is in another town and I never talk to him anyways, soooo- I guess I should just go for it. He could say no and laugh in my face, but he is way too nice to do that. I don't know. I'm expecting the worst already. SIGH. He's so wonderful and awesome, but it seems like he doesn't know it. I should tell him. I think I might sometime tonight, actually...



PS. I think I'm gonna get a comments thingy, just to see who reads this, and you can tell me how you really feel about me.

Please remove number 17 from my list of things that make me happy. She's insane! INSANE


Chrissy's statement about my mother: "That explains so much."
I do believe she is talking about me and the way I am. I would have to agree. Gack! I need to move far away... NOW.

I went bra-shopping today! Nothing makes me happier than a new bra.


That's a lie. Lots of other things make me happier than a new bra...

I feel a list coming on!


In no particular order:

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY


1. my friends
2. laughing
3. OkGo
4. cute boys
5. my dogs and cats
6. guacamole
7. Papa John's
8. the zoo
9. The Amazing Killowatts
10. rock shows
11. sleep
12. cute underwear
13. cookies
14. direct eye contact
15. my grandpa when he does/says cute un-grandpa things
16. my sister when she's not in a mood
17. my mom when she's not in a mood
18. myself (I'm so conceited)- no, but really- I crack myself up.
19. The Red Hot Valentines
20. belting out Dashboard Confessional at the top of my lungs with the girls
21. singing in my car
22. my zoo coworkers
23. free stuff
24. Plain White T's
25. Gilmore Girls
26. gooooood movies
27. gooooood books
28. listening to my wacky mix CD's
29. the fact that my socks have not matched for the past week, and not many people have noticed
30. funny, out-of-the-blue things people remember


That is all I care to share at the moment. I can go on forever... I'm just that happy of a person.

I heart a boy. I heart a boy badly. My heart pitter-patters and my stomach does a flip-flop whenever I talk to him. I'm such a dork...


SIGH.


Tomorrow is my mom's birthday! Wish her a happy 53rd!

i am open-minded!




How indie are you? test by ridethefader

You're pretty knowledgeable about music in general. You like indie music, sure, but that's only part of it.
You'll listen to any old shit as long as it sounds good to you. You're not snobby about music at all, you
just like what you like. How boring. Curiously, this makes you popular with the opposite sex.




I'm sorry, what?? Popular with the opposite sex? Heh?

I'm irresponsible.



Dang it.

For the love! I should get a gold star. Why? I AM THE ONLY VIRGIN WORKING AT THE ZOO. Ok- no. Me, Matt, and Ben. I'm the only female virgin, then. I had my girl Melissa backing me up, but lo- she no longer works there. Anyways- Suzie and I were conversing about this, and it made me laugh. Ergo, I am sharing.


SJGBluClu3: oh my gosh
SJGBluClu3: i just realized something
SJGBluClu3: i'm the only virgin working at the zoo
suzwhit2983: lol
suzwhit2983: congrats!
SJGBluClu3: they're gonna sacrafice me!
SJGBluClu3: to the barn!
suzwhit2983: well.. it was fun while it lasted
suzwhit2983: lol
SJGBluClu3: aaah!
suzwhit2983: lol
suzwhit2983: it can be a scene for halloweeen
suzwhit2983: come watch us sacrifice the virgin!
SJGBluClu3: LOL
SJGBluClu3: that's great
suzwhit2983: people will flock
suzwhit2983: attendance will go up
suzwhit2983: and gary will demand that mike do it every year
suzwhit2983: itll be revolutionary
SJGBluClu3: it will


SIGH. If only people would keep their pants up once and awhile...

Ok, I'm not sad at all now!!!!



Plain White T's are gonna be in Champaign the 17th of November!!!!!!!!!!!!! I missed them last time they were around, but I'm so gonna see them this time! Come with me! It'll be a party, yo. Chrissy will be there, and ya know she's cute. Her twin, Suzie, might as well, and who doesn't like cute twins?? I'm so excited! PWT's need to come back more often! WOOT.

Jessica's computer is working! I was so happy to see her name back on my buddy list. Gleeful is how I would describe myself. GLEEFUL!

Golly, gee- now I'm all giddy. Look out, kids. I'm in a mood. Tee hee!



Despite the giddiness, I must shed a tear... *tear* BATZ is coming to an end. This year was a blast. My favorite Boo so far. Oh no- on another sad note, I bet this was my last Boo. I'm gonna be in Champaign this time next year. Uh oh- I'm so sad now. All the giddiness is gone...


thinking happy thoughts
thinking happy thoughts
thinking happy thoughts
thinking happy thoughts



Hmm. Ok, I suppose that's a little better. I need to talk to Jessica again. Woot.