Last blog before I'm gone for TWO FRIGGIN' WEEKS!!!

*growl*

I have a new cell phone number. I sent out an e-mail to inform most of you, but if you didn't get one, just call the old cell and I left it on my voicemail. If not, y'all will just have to wait until I get back.

Do I seem cranky? I am.

*sigh*

I was reading all of my blogs from the past year or so, and realized something- I used to be funny. I crack myself up. I had myself giggling. I also realized that my friends and I have always had serious issues. They haven't just been a recent thing. For instance, over Christmas break- we got into a HUGE fight. I don't know if anything was resolved because it seems as though we're still getting into it about the same things.

Excerpts from this:

"Tuesday, December 24, 2002

Last night, I had two of the deepest conversations. One was more of a vent about the people in my life, and the other was pretty much heart-wrenching. What do you do when the other half of your soul, the person who's weathered many a storm with you, the person who knows you than better than family...doesn't trust you?

Things were said that stung. Hard. It was like "hey- lets take all of Sandra's affection and reason for being, shape it into a spear-like object, and jut it into her heart." I know what was said was out of frustration and lack of understanding on both sides. I said some equally hurtful things, and I'm sorry. Neither of us can take them back... We're all growing up and changing. In different ways, we're gonna have to accept that...

...Learning from your mistakes is what life is all about, I suppose. Those who are there for the mistakes never forget them, and if they're vile- they'll never let YOU forget them."


Another entry I would like to reiterate is this one:

"Sunday, November 10, 2002

I really like the people I spend time with. I mean, I don't know how other people do it. I'm really glad I have almost always enjoyed my friends. Some people don't know what it's like to be best friends with the same people for, holy cow, almost 15 years. We've been through alot, Chrissy, Suzie, and I, and last year we were separated for the first time ever. We survived too. I know alot of people that didn't manage to stay friends after college began, and that's kind of sad.

The three of us changed, though, too. I know we didn't realize we were changing at the time, but when we came back to visit with one another, I'm pretty sure we all noticed the changes in the others. I know I did anyways. While we might not agree with how any of us had changed, the beauty of our friendship is, we adjusted to the changes and still remained to be best friends.

I hope, as we get older and make our own decisions, we still continue to do this. New friends, poor choices, conflicting schedules, different lifestyles, changed ideas/views, boys, and everything else that can ruin friendships will not tear us apart. I love these girls with all my heart, and I hope they feel the same way.


As for the new friends I have made along the way...
Several have come and gone, but the ones that are still around, and coming around, rock my socks just as hard. I hope to remain friends with these people as well, because each one is there for me in their own little way. That's so corny, but it's true. Thank you for being my friends. Who knows where I'd be if I didn't have you."

I meant it then, and I mean it now. Change is inevitable and we all handle it in different ways. We're growing up, but that doesn't mean we're growing apart. I love you and I can't stop loving you.

The end. No more dwelling on the past even though it paves the way for the future...

Today is Jessica's birthday. She's 19, and really cute. =)

Happy Birthday, wifey!

I met Brian last night. He's a cool kid. He and Suzie are cute together too. Yay. They, with Chrissy and Aaron, came to the zoo yesterday, and then Suzie, Brian, and I went to Carlos and then went to see Pirates of the Carribean. I was way amused with the movie, but they didn't seem to agree. Davy Jone's Locker, what??

Ben has a new girly. I don't know if she is, but if she isn't she should be. Her name is Natalie and she's cute. Yay.

Dirk Lance left Incubus. I can't marry them now! What the crap?? First, Brandon Boyd likes boys sometimes, and now Dirk is gone. *tear* I'll just have to be Sandra Queens of the Foo now.

Speaking of more broken hearts- apparently David Gerkin is engaged....and not to me! *pout*


"The grass is always greener, as I'm sure that you've found out.
If I find my way back on the last leg of this trip,
I'm betting I find you there."

If I were a month I would be: april
If I were a day of the week I would be: tuesday
If I were a time of day I would be: dawn
If I were a planet I would be: saturn- it's fancy
If I were a sea animal I would be: a sea anemone
If I were a direction I would be: east
If I were a piece of furniture I would be: an ugly chair
If I were a historical figure I would be: medusa- she has cool hair
If I were a liquid I would be: cherry cola (c-o-l-a cola)
If I were a tree, I would be: a lilac bush- but that's not a tree. hmmm
I I were a flower/plant, I would be: a lilac bush- i'm so good at this game
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: partly cloudy with a chance of thunderstorms
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: a dijaradoo, only spelled correctly
If I were an animal, I would be: a DUCK!!!
If I were a color, I would be: orange. road construction orange
If I were a vegetable, I would be: do i dare say it? ...a carrot
If I were a sound, I would be: *pwing*
If I were an element, I would be: neon
If I were a car, I would be: a vintage bug
If I were a song, I would be: a short and sweet one
If I were a movie, I would be directed by: someone know one knows about- that's so indie
If I were a book, I would be written by: ...my friends
If I were a food, I would be: quesidillas
If I were a place, I would be: that place in your mind that doesn't get used very often
If I were a material, I would be: poly/cotton blend
If I were a taste, I would be: cherry
If I were a scent, I would be: melon, to drive zach crazy =)
If I were a word, I would be: woot
If I were an object, I would be: i am NOT an object! guh!
If I were a body part I would be: the hip bone
If I were a facial expression I would be: a geniuinely happy one
If I were a cartoon character I would be: a popple!
If I were a shape I would be a: heart
If I were a number I would be: 12

1) I suck at being a friend

2) I'm selfish.

3) I hurt those close to me.

4) I push them away when I don't know what else to do.

5) I avoid conflict in the worst ways.

6) I miss the days when all there was to fight about was nothing.

7) I have a great nack for fucking things up.

8) Change hurts more than it should.

9) "I'm sorry" means nothing from me.

10) I can't change my mistakes, and that sucks.

Tracy has a link now- look at her hair. It's awesome.


Ten more things you don't know about me:

1) I like it when people you know and love change, and you can accept the change and still love them just the same.

2) I hate the dissapointed looks I get from people when I tell them I'm going to Richland another year.

3) I really appreciate Charlesetta at work for making me feel better about my decision. She's one of the only people who didn't give me that look, and actually told me it'll probably work out the best for me in the end.

4) With all the pressure in the world to succeed and be the best, I know why kids kill themselves.

5) I like to tell and hear stories about how friends remember each other.

6) I've noticed that parents lose their listening skills once they have children.

7) I think the death of my dad messed me up more than I realize or care to admit.

8) It scares me sometimes when I think about and know how perfect Zach and I are together.

9) I hope that never changes.

10) Dangit, I am such a girl.

More to come, I'm sure.

I got my green Chucks today. Yay. They're so fun.

Booyah, Mike Hagan.

The sad thing is, I ordered them after Zach ordered his Moog....he still hasn't gotten it yet. I hope he's not getting screwed over.

I helped Zach clean his and his brother's rooms yesterday. It inspired me to work on mine. One room is done, but the other is scary. I don't think I'm gonna bother.

Suzie's comming home Saturday!! Woo hoo! She's bringing her boyfriend too. Yay! Perfect timing since Zach will be gone this weekend. I won't be bored!

Depressing thing- I leave in 8 days. That makes me sad. I'll be back in time for Gep's wedding though, so that'll be fun, but then school starts that Monday. Bah! Where did the summer go???

That is all.

*wiggling feet while looking at new Chucks*

Work, work, I like to work. Especially when it's with Gretchen. She and I decided today that we're related somehow. That's awesome. She's my new big sister. I'll miss her a lot when she moves to Chicago, but I promised I'd visit her a lot when I could. I like Gretchen.

Mike, my boss, is an ass, but he's been rather nice to everyone lately- except for Mindy. He said to her, "You're looking pretty thin...................for a fat girl!" Who says that?? Mindy isn't fat at all, even though she's always self-conscious about it. Way to make a girl feel like crap. I don't care how big or little anyone is- that's gonna ruin someone's life. That'll ring in her head for a long time, I'm sure. Poor girl. I just hope she doesn't end up bulemic like Shannon.

Ten things you don't know about me:

1) Even though I hate kids, I secretly want to have four- 2 boys, 2 girls. I think I'd be a fun mom.

2) I want to get married on August 8, 2008 (08/08/08) in the sunken garden in the evening at Allerton Park if I'm still in the area.

3) I want it to be weird, fun, and girly.

4) If I hadn't hated all the girls who did cheerleading, or all the hype surrounding it, I probably would have cheered or done something of that nature.

5) If I wasn't always so worried about my parents spending money, I would have done more school activities.

6) That probably would have made me annoyingly popular.

7) I'm glad I didn't.

8) I LOVED playing the clarinet, and really wish I could play in a concert band somehow.

9) I always find it strange to hear that people talk about me when I'm not around. I think that's the only modest thing about me.

10) Zach is my lobster.

I've been blogging for almost a year. I probably won't blog on it's birthday, so um, happy birthday Sandra's blog. Viva!

Mike and I went to visit Chrissy and Terri. Good times were had by all. Mike and I were dating at their house, but broke up when we went out to eat. Funny how things happen.

Zach and I came back to Urbana Friday night to catch the end of RHV. We hung around and talked with Tyson for a bit. I think he was happy to see and talk to people he knew. Things must be different now that they are all rawk stars. Eric signed some kids' butts. That's crazy.

Saturday morning Zach, Chrissy, and I did some world-saving. It was actually a lot of fun. We were late, but found the rest of the group. We cleared paths and killed weeds. Our leader lady was the coolest. The funniest thing all day was when Zach was hit on by the angry nature girl. "Addison. Is that a band? I like bands...." Chrissy and I had a good laugh out of that. The girl was way annoying and gave environmentalists a bad name. She was one of THOSE tree-huggers. After work that night, Zach and I went to Rock for the Cure. It was fun. Bastian played, and they're a great band. They didn't get to play many songs because of time, but they were still enjoyable.

Sunday was a lazy day. Zach and I spent the entire day together. I loved it. We lounged around and did nothing but enjoy each other's company. At some point, we joined the rest of the world and went to Schlotsky's, but after that we came back home, lounged some more, and watched a movie. It was quite possibly one of my favorite days of this summer. (awwww) Blast the vacation and school starting. I'm sure we won't have any more days like that for a long time.

That's my update. I'm boring.

I hate my mother and how much she has it so I have to depend on her for things. Money is the main thing, acutally- it's being able to use the money however I want. I have hella money saved up in savings, but that's all I have. I don't have checks or a credit card, and sometimes you just aren't able to use cash. That's when I need her. I'm thinking today I'm gonna just go to the bank and open a checking account.

After that Mike and I are going to C-bana! Yay! That is, if he doesn't cancel on me last-minute. He has a tendancy to do that pretty much all the time. =)

Weekend plans:

Friday- work, then FREE RHV show at Crystal Lake Park in Urbana

Saturday- Zach, Chrissy (if she still wants to), and I are gonna volunteer at Allerton Park early in the morning. We're gonna do some tree-hugging; work at 3; concert somewhere

Sunday- Nothing. Maybe Zach will want to go to the Ice Cream Safari with me... unless he gets stolen by boys. It's possible.

I wish I had more to say, but my mom made me cranky. What a surprise.


Congrats to my girls for their boys. I'm happy for you!!!

Tonight was the funnest. Gretchen was TOTALLY surprised. She had no idea all day long, and was super surprised when we sprung it on her. My cake was damned tasty, she loved her presents and balloons, and we all played this fun game called "True Colors". Yay.

Stealing this from Michael Hagan:

First bike: a pink banana-seater
First best friend(s): chrissy/suzie whitacre, kellisa humphreys, sarah logan, jenny lanter
First real memory of something: falling into glass and cutting my wrist, but not crying until they started sewing it up
First car: a red Geo Metro probably from 1993 or something
First date: oh goodness- define "date".... I'm gonna say the dock w/ Todd Weber where he tried to molest me....ew.
First kiss: define "kiss"......well, one that happened but I never counted nor bothered bringing up was w/ my grandma's neighbor- his name was Joe or Josh or something starting with a J and having one syllable. however, my first favorite kiss....zach
*blushes and runs away*
First job: ace hardware in mt. zion- i got fired because our football team beat st. teresa that year.....jerks
First screen name: SJGBluClu3
First self purchased album: The Cardigans- First Band on the Moon
First funeral: my great Aunt Del
First pet: Misty, the dog
First piercing/tattoo: n/a
First independent home: what?
First house/flat/apartment: I wanna live in a flat.
First credit card: i haven't one
First love: *squirms nervously in seat* changing question to "first crush": ryan moore in kindergarten
First enemy: DAN CRUMP- bastard. but i love his sister dearly!
First big trip: California- I was 4
First play/musical/performance: the circus in kindergarten! I was a dancing lady....whatever that means.
First musician: John Phillips Sousa??

last good cry: one-year anniversary of my dad's death, that was when I cried hardcore, but I did cry when the dressing fell out of my dry socket. i'm a wussie.
last library book checked out: i do believe the last one I checked out of a library was Grapes of Wrath, but that was forever ago.
last movie seen: Ummm- that movie w/ Jim Carrey in it where he plays Andy Kaufman, something about a moon??
last book read: A Clockwork Orange, by Anthony Burgess
last cuss word uttered: wow, I haven't cussed in awhile. I'll go with damned, since I typed it above.
last beverage drank: some generic strawberry pop
food consumed: my damned tasty cake
last crush: Zachary Schultz
last phone call: at work, about a random guinea pig in their yard- "will you take it??"
last tv show watched: wow, I haven't watched tv in forever either. i'll go with a rerun of Surf Girls at some point
last time showered: this morning
last shoes worn: my $1 flip-flops
last cd played: Rooney
last item bought: fun animal plates for the party
last downloaded: a hot hot heat song- "touch you touch you"
last annoyance: the heat
last disappointment: i don't really know- i'm a happy camper these days
last soda drank: didn't i already answer this?
last word written: this
last key used: the down arrow key
last word spoken: nope
last sleep: last night/this morning
last im: erincarrot- erin childers, at work- bad sandra!
last weird encounter: two words- Ben Olson (i'm kidding, i love that kid)
last ice cream eaten: chocolate
last time amused: tonight at Gretchen's party
last time wanting to die: last year was pretty crappy
last time in love: *squirm*
last time hugged: Gretchen, because she loved the surprise!
last chair sat in: the one i'm in now- it's brown and dark pink
last lipstick used: does vanilla/mint chapstick count?
last shirt worn: my zoo shirt
last time dancing: i really don't know
last webpage visited: www.denalimusic.com


viva!

Thing I forgot: The cheetahs are gonna be put on display tomorrow.

craziness

Kelly McMillen is dating Zac Hubner. That's exciting. What's more exciting is that it's like Kelly and Zack from Saved by the Bell, minus the 'k'. Hooray! Too much Zac/Zach talk around the zoo has confused the other girls. It's ok- we like it. =)

Tomorrow we are throwing Gretchen a surprise party in the Scovill House at 8. Come if you want, even if you don't know her. I made an awesome cake...

I started writing a story today. I haven't done that in ages. I'm not quite sure what it's about yet, but that's the wonder of writing- you can actually make it up as you go along. It kept me occupied tonight because it was soo soo soo slow.

Jessica has a secret boyfriend too.

yay

Today is my one day off in ages where I can hang out with people, however people are not around to hang out with. Blast this holiday and it's fun faraway places for people to go. Oh well- next Thursday is a penis-free, boobs only day. I miss my girls.

I'm upgrading AIM right now- I hope the upgrade comes with a pony.

The other night Zach and I went to Jared Vogel's for a bonfire. It was fun. A creepy little kid was there who I thought was gonna catch on fire, but he didn't. I didn't get home until 5 in the am the next day. It's really hard to get to sleep when the sun is coming up.

YAY!!! Stephy and I are gonna hang out tonight. She's not out of town!

My fourth of July was spent first at work with NO ONE, and then with my mom, sister, and Zach. We ate food and played Skip-bo. I don't know why that is the name of that game. I didn't see one firework yesterday. Does that make me a communist?

Upgrade done and no pony. What a rip off.

I leave for Michigan/Florida in ten days. Bah.

"next up...we just got word that rhv is going to be the "band of the day" this thursday (july 3 at 4:30pm central time) on the Brendan Leonard Show on the ABC Family cable network. none of us have ever seen this show so we can't tell you what to expect other than we've been told tracks from "summer fling" will be prominently featured on this episode. set your vcr's people!

and...some of our music will also be used on mtv's reality series "surf girls" in the coming weeks. we're not sure what songs or which episodes they'll be featured on so if you watch this show, make sure to let us know if you hear our stuff!"


Eeeeeee!!!! This is exciting. I know Erin will be taping it. I'm gonna be home to see it. Yay for the Brendan Leanard Show!

Yesterday a family got locked into the Scovill Rock Garden. The dad had to jump the fence and come tell me, but all of our bosses were at a meeting on how to handle situations such as these. Ironic, huh? I ended up having to call a park ranger to unlock the gate. The man called to complain today, and apparently he broke his leg jumping the fence. I noticed he was limping, so I guess it wasn't that bad of a break, but still- I'm pretty sure they're gonna sue or something. Way to be, greenhouse workers. Mike told me I "did the right thing" though. Thank you, I know this. =)

Can I be any more full of myself?

Zach and I went to Allerton Park last night after I got done working. We couldn't find the friggin' mansion though. It was hiding from us. We got eaten by bugs, and could see ourselves glowing in the dark. This made me wonder something- can black people see themselves in the dark?

................going to hell.........................................NOW

I've got nothing else to say, except that I have a twin somewhere near Chicago. That's exciting. You should have gotten her number, Mike. I'm sure she'd hate you as much as I do. BFF!!!!!

Suzie has a secret boyfriend. Eggs, friend?? Sounds serious to me. WOOT!!!!!