Today is Zach's birthday. He's 20!! Commence the jigglin', y'all.



That's all I've got for now. I will update in the very near future.

I'm tired and icky. I think it's the weather.

I have this friend and she's pregnant. I've never had a pregnant friend before. I'm kind of excited. Some people at work are being kind of mean to her, and oddly enough, I seem to be the only one who's happy and kind to her. Not that I ever thought I would shun anyone for that, but I've never been in the situation before. She told her mom the other day and that went over well. Her dad is a whole other story, but who's dad wouldn't be? She's due in November, so no BATZ for her. We were joking that Mike would still have her waddling around with a box of oatmeal cream pies, radioing her every other minute. Good times... =)

So it turns out that my grandpa was stinking rich and I'm getting a nice little sum of money. Not enough for me to be set for life, but enough for me to spread it out for school and not be so stressed about it. Tiny loans = happy Sandra. I knew that my grandparents were rich, but sooooooooo tight they squeaked whenever they exhaled, but I didn't realize it was so much. I guess my grandma being her overly-recycle-crazy self paid off. She didn't recycle because she thought it would help the environment, she recycled because she didn't want to spend money. You know the styrafoam plates that pork chops and such come on from the grocery store? Yeah, she would clean those off and use them for plates. She would also re-use sandwich bags and garbage bags. I thought she was kooky. She was just mad-crazy thrifty.

Time for a nappy nap before worky work. =)

Well, darlings, tragedy strikes again. My grandpa died Saturday night, which is why- Erin, Amy, Terri, Jessica, Mike, and Brian- I chose not to go to Shelbyville. My family and I are pros when it comes to death now, so I think we've finally gotten a morbid sense of humor about it- as sad as that is. My sister and I were taking bets on who was going next...Uncle Mike or Uncle Terry...? I know, I know- kinda sick and twisted, but that's how we're dealing with things now. My mom, of course, is being her typical selfish self right now. She's acting like she's the only one who's lost a dad right now. HELLO?!?!? YOUR DAUGHTERS DON'T HAVE A DAD ANYMORE EITHER. GET OVER YOURSELF.

In much much happier news, we pulled one over on Mike Hagan. It was a doozy. His birthday was in October, but SURPRISE!!! He got a party in April. Woot! I missed a good chunk of it, but what I was there for was good times.

I haven't got much. Tonight is bucket night!!!!!

I think it's funny how these things end up in everyone's blog sooner or later.....I'm a sheep. Baaaa!!!



1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:
"looks ready for the big television crew that's due to arrive"
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, what is it closest to: a chair
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?: FREAKS AND GEEKS, BABY!!!!!!
4. WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is: 9:50
5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?: 9:53
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?: my neighbor mowing the lawn
7. When did you last step outside? what were you doing?: leaving Zach's house to my car this morning (scandalous!!!)
8. What are you wearing?: green and pink pajama pants and the black shirt I wore to work last night
9. Did you dream last night? Yes I did.
10. When did you last laugh? While watching FREAKS AND GEEKS, baby!!!
11. What is on the walls of the room you are in?: my picture collages of my friends, a mirror, my high honor roll plaques from high school, and my district concert band plaque (LOSER)
12. Seen anything weird lately?: your mom
13. What do you think of this quiz?: good luck with that
14. What is the last film you saw? Hellboy- it was pretty friggin' neat, yo
15. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?: Harrington College of Design so THEY can give me THEIR money, bitch
16. Tell me something about you that I don't know: oh this is a biggie- I'm starting to eat chicken again [insert collective gasp here]
17. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?: make college tuition more accesible to the po folks
18. Do you like to dance?: I like to wiggle my butt all over the place.
19. George Bush: is fancy
20. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?: Maura Louise
21. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?: Felix Sebastian
(my kids are gonna get BEAT up)
22. Would you ever consider living abroad? definitely
23. Will you pass on this survey?: I think I'm the last one to do this- prove me wrong, kids.



Last night was a fun night in the work place. I like Jacob Smith. He's the coolest, yo. We had witty banter....made witty banter...bantered with wit??????? My grammer ain't so great.


Tomorrow will be an interesting day. 9-12:30, I work at the zoo, 1-6 I work at Suncoast, then 6:30-7 I go back to the zoo to help the newbies close. The things I do for people, I swear!

So, I bought the complete series of Freaks and Geeks last night. It was a wise investment. I probably should have saved the money, but I don't fugging care. That show cracks me right up over and over and over. Huzzah!!

2 days in a row- woot!

Last night Zach and I went to see Death Cab for Cutie at the Vic Theatre in Chicago. It was the best! They put on such a great show. Ben Kweller was before them and he was not so great. I'm sure he's cute and all, but- boooooooooo. He's just so cheesy and boring. I can handle me some cheese because bands can get away with it by being fun- RHV being a good example as well as All-American Rejects. Then there are the bands that are boring but get away with it by being clever. Cheesy+boring= Ben Kweller. He DID do a country-esque cover of "Ice Ice Baby" that was worth a grin. I'll give him that much.

I still love Chicago and no matter what, y'all aren't keeping me from going! I'm searching for grants all over the place, so hopefully I will get the hookup. I don't care about having to pay off loans for the rest of my life. I'm gonna go, you all will visit me, we will have good times, and all will be well in the land.

PS. When you come visit me, please bring one packet of ramen. I love you!


Guess what made my freakin-frackin' life!!! JACOB HATES PAUL JACKSON AS MUCH AS I DO!!!!!!!!!!! Jacob was cranky the other night, and I'm guessing that when Jacob gets cranky- he just lets it all out. We bonded over our hatred for him. He has requested to not close with him, which means that he'll always close with me. I'm ok with that. Jacob is a cool cat. It made me so happy to know that it's not just me.

Dear Suzie,

Please get comments on your blog!!!!!!!!

Love, Sandra

I kiss you on the face!

Psalm31 11: Hello, this is BJ. My roomate is a 5 pump chump.
pinkandorangefun: that's a shame. how did you find this out?
Psalm31 11: 2:30 this morning.
Psalm31 11: His fourplay consisted of, "But you have a boyfriend." I think this was just idle chit chat while he got it up.


I don't know about the rest of you, but that made me laugh out loud (LOL).




Hi, kids. I've had a rough week so far, but things are getting better. BJ is making me laugh right now, and I appreciate it, and Stephanie has gotten me addicted to one of her many computer games. Thanks to the both of them!

I could feel those evil demons creeping up on me, but I batted them away and ignored them until they eventually caught up to me Sunday night and Monday morning. Happy birthday, Sandra- bring on the uncontrolable tears/hyperventalating/etc... All I wanted to do all day on Monday was sleep to escape the world, but to me, that would mean that I lost. Last year I gave in and lost. I pushed everyone away and slept and slept and slept. This year I refused. Zach was my much-needed shoulder to cry on. I let him in on a side that no one has seen before- a pathetic mess of tears and whatnot. This year I felt more helpless than angry. I also felt very selfish because all I could think on Monday was- "My dad's visitation was on my birthday. Bring on the memories!" Even though I didn't say anything to anyone, I wanted complete strangers to know this and feel sorry for me. I wanted pity and hugs. I wanted last year's birthday. I wanted a happy birthday train ride and people surprising me all day long. I didn't get those things, and I felt very lonely. It made me miss my dad so much. He was looking forward to me turning 21. He wanted to take me gambling because I'm lucky when it comes to stuff like that. I just wish he got to see me grow up. I don't know how the years to come will be, but I just hope things get easier. I'm seriously contemplating getting anti-depressant drugs. I've mastered faking happiness, but I'm sort of tired of faking it.

In other news- I'm starting to have abandonment issues. Diane, one of my zoo bosses, quit on Saturday. That was her last day, anyway. Mr. Rocha had a heart attack a few weeks ago (everyone pray/hope that he gets better soon), so we've had bad substitutes since then. My sister is going to move to Las Vegas at the end of the summer. All in all- stop leaving me!!! Everyone stay where they are...except for me. =)

I had good gossip, but I've forgotten it since I've learned it. I better not post it on here for fear of someone's mother reading it. Heaven forbid! I'm pretty sure it had something to do with a Meridian person being alone and drunk, but I'm not sure...

Oh yeah! Scovill Zoo has shot glasses. Chrissy, Suzie- I'm on it, don't worry friends. You will have your very own Scovill Zoo shot glass to show your children one day. Anyone else want one? Let me know. =)






"...and it took bites out of her insides, 'til she was just a hollow shell..."

Thanks for the happy birthdays, kiddos. That deep dark depression I didn't think I would go through this year caught up with me hardcore. Ergo- no mood to blog. I will catch you up on my life maybe later today or maybe not. We'll see...

Chicago trip #1 in a nutshell-

1- I LOVES me some Chicago!!!
2- My mother bought a bum a chocolate shake because, "That might be the lord out there. Read the bible!!"
3- I really really like to ride the "el"
4- I never felt unsafe.
5- My school is the first 6 floors of a skyscraper...ok, I don't think it's constituted as a skyscraper, but it's friggin' tall
6- My school is across the street from The Shalom Deli- Grant can come visit me and eat safely
7- I will be one pobrecita gordita by the time I'm done with the school because the tuition is expeeeensive
8- I might get lucky and get rid of the gordita part because of all the walking I will be doing
9- My mother in a taxi is hillarious
10- Everyone at my school is super-duper nice.
11- My apartment will be fancy.
12- I won't have to pay for public transportation or art supplies because this school is the best.
13- I LOVES me some Chicago!!!

In summary- I won't die in Chicago. I will have a blast and be poor, but won't care because I'm having a blast. Mike Hagan is gambling for my college education anyway. With friends like him, who needs student loans?? Woot!

The trip with the school was just as fun. I showed Zach my school, we rode the "el" a bunch of times, overheard a drunk man tell another drunk man about a threesome he had, roamed through some artsy stores, found the Vick theater where we're seeing Death Cab, and survived all the live long day. It was tons o' fun. I'm looking forward to living there. =) =)


I worked at the zoo today. I got a sunburn and a blister on my hand. I don't care because I had fun. I missed Mindy and Renee. We laughed and laughed for no reason at all. I needed that. Tomorrow I go school----->work----->work. Yikes. I'm a slave to the man...

I don't care, I'm happy scampy!

I am not: as mentally stable as I like to fake
I love: being happy
I hate: being sad and depressed
I fear: always being a big dissapointment
I hope: I don't die in Chicago
I hear: me chewing gum
I crave: attention
I regret: not telling my dad that I loved him enough
I cry: all the freaking time
I care: too much about everyone sometimes
I always: laugh at myself
I believe: that I will be famous one day- word.
I feel alone: not as much as I used to
I listen: all the time. I'm good at that game
I hide: nothing from everyone, and everything from my mom and sister
I drive: a purple Geo Metro- WOOT!!
I sing: off-key and all the time, bitch!
I dance: I don't dance as much as I wiggle.
I write: not as much as I used to
I play: Guess Who?
I miss: my dad, my girls, laughing for hours and hours
I search: I'm not that deep
I learn: to make the best of things
I feel: a song commin' on!!!
I know: that I can't please everyone, even though I try
I say: too much
I succeed: more than I think I can
I dream: about the future
I wonder: what if...
I want: to live to be really old so that my kids and grandkids won't have to "move on" with their lives when they are too young...to marry Zach and have him live to be just as old...to save the world and have a day named after me
I have: a cute boyfriend, the bestest best friends in the world, a crappy relationship with mi madre
I give: not as much as I want to
I fell: down the stairs once because I have short carnie legs
I fight: with my mother like a maniac. Who makes you crazy, baby?
I need: more money...boo
I laugh: all the time. it's my favourite thing to do!!!


I'm blogging before I said I would. What's that about??

I talked to the best internet stalker and Pocky fiend, Kellie, online the other night. She cracks me right up. Mike Hagan should have introduced us long ago, but alas- he's Mike Hagan and we all know how that goes...

I don't know what that means.

Yesterday, in one day, I got two EW's and two Replay cards. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON???? I can't handle the madness. So, Laura and Damon quit. That means that besides the three managers (Mike, Sheila, and Jacob), there are only TWO part time workers- Paul and me. That's so friggin' stupid. We can never ask for time off now! I'm really stressing out because the 15th of April is the Death Cab show. Sheila is on vacation and Paul also asked for that day off. That means that Mike and Jacob have to work all day long. I don't care what they say, but I'm not working that day!!! Ack!!!

I start working at the zoo next Wednesday. I'm so freaking giddy, you have no idea. Guess how many hours I have for the first week- guess...come on! Ok, I'll tell you- THIRTY. That's about twenty more than I'll ever get at Suncoast. If I didn't feel guilty about them not having any workers, and also hopeful for the possibility of having a job in Chicago- I'd dump that bitch so fast. Oy vey.

We're off to see my school today- huzzah.



10 days until my birthday!!!!!!!!! Ow ow!!!